This week has been one that has really caught me by surprise. I have been so tired all week and have actually slept in 3 mornings which is really so unlike me. But it's also been a week with a few dramas. Yeah I hear you.... what week of my life isn't full of drama... Well you know at least life isn't boring!
The week started with Monday.... as weeks do.... I went in to work as usual. Got in there at about 5:45 a.m. Started turning on computers etc. Getting everything ready to go to air. 5 to 6 and no Shane. So I try to call - phone goes straight to messagebank. Now keep in mind this is the first time he's driven in by himself since the accident and he's in a loan car that is really old and hasn't been started in months. 6:00 a.m. comes and I'm just about to head into the studio to start the breakfast show after the news is finished and all of a sudden there is this huge BANG in the roof and the lights go out. I about had a heart attack and I bolted out of the station to the front door. Had no idea what happened or what to do - shaking like a leaf - heart pounding.
4 minutes past 6, the news finishes and I'm thinking there is no way I'm going back in there by myself. Until I realise I've left my mobile phone sitting in the studio! I'm worried of course that there could be a fire and I don't want to get trapped in there - mind you it's a really small shop we rent. Besides which by this time I'm really worried I haven't heard anything from Shane. So I dash back in and grab the phone. Try to call. Still no answer. No idea who to ring about the lights. Not really giving a rats by this stage. So I decide to go and lock the gate to the arcade and sit in the car and decide what to do.
Next thing I get a 101 message on my phone. It's Shane - his car has broken down 5km from home - could I come and pick him up. No mobile service there so I realise he's had to WALK 5km back to a phone box and it's pouring rain....So I drive out to where he lives which is a good 25 minutes out of town. Find the car. No him. Realise of course he's probably walking BACK the 5km to the car. Manage to locate him about half way between the town and the car - a bit soggy, not real happy but pleased to see a car that actually pulled over.
We had to push the car off the road because it had stopped on a bend and there wasn't enough room to get it off the road. Of course it's uphill LOL. Thanks so much to the 2 cars that drove past as we struggled with the thing....We finally get back into town. Get to the radio station. I'm half expecting to see the fire brigade there hosing down the building but no.... So inside we go. I'm not about to start fiddling with anything in the dark. By this stage it's 7:00 a.m. but pitch black inside the studio except for the light from the computer screen. So we decide to go on air but we can't read anything from newspapers or anything, I can barely see the page I printed off with the weather and in the end I had to pull the clock off the wall and sit it beside the computer screen so I could see the time to cross to the 8:00 and 9:00 a.m. news services.
Ahhh the things we do to bring the radio program to the public.... what a dedicated bunch we are. Or is that just plain crazy?
So Tuesday morning and of course I get to do the radio show by myself. I hate doing the radio show by myself. I HATE it. Trying to sound even the least bit interesting or motivated is difficult for me when I'm on my own. Did I mention I hate doing it by myself? OK well I managed to get through it but have I mentioned how much I HATE doing it by myself?
Wednesday morning the alarm went off obviously but I just didn't manage to hear it until it went off at 5:00 a.m. Now usually I am up at 4 and out the door around 5:15. So you can imagine that waking up with 15 minutes to spare is not ideal. I did manage to get out the door by 25 past 5 but it was not pretty. Then Thursday morning I also slept in - although I did manage to wake up at 4:45 which was a little better. This morning I slept in until 4:30. So although I'm improving slightly, I still need to heed the warning that the body isn't coping I think. I really do need to try to catch up on some sleep this weekend otherwise next week is likely to be really ugly. Oh and I almost forgot - of course the lovely Blake didn't turn up on Friday so that made another morning I had to do the breakfast show by myself. Did I mention I hate doing it alone? hmmm maybe I did.
I know it's not just lack of sleep. I know I need to deal with it and get my mind under control. It's just not always easy.
As much as I have felt exhausted from work and emotionally drained by other stress in my life, I still feel very positive. I doubt I could keep going without that positive feeling backing me. At a time when I want things to be moving ahead, they seem to have come to a standstill and in some respects taken a step backwards. There have been times when I've felt a little abandoned and doubted the committments made. But then there have throughout this time also been incredible sacrifices and gestures that surely should reassure me. Life can indeed be very difficult at times.
Another weekend of very little planned except rest and some scrapping. I am really looking forward to the scrapping - provided of course I can come up with a photo to scrap!