Sunday, August 26, 2007

More Lyrics To Live By pages...

And here is the facing page for the 3rd week of the Mini Album Challenge at Scrap Pile. Actually I have uploaded a new scan of the Lyrics page as well because I added some flowers and doodling so the two pages would tie in better.... I think they actually look quite good together.

I'm going to make the effort this week to catch up on this challenge since there is a new word out tomorrow again.... and I really don't want to be weeks behind all the time. If I get stuck on the lyrics it will be hard to overcome. It's not like I can do something else now that I've started... Ahh but I keep reminding myself - it's a challenge....

And this was Tammy's Challenge - to create something in the "Bring On Spring" theme and use it as an avatar for the duration of the CC. OK well it's Sunday and I'm a little late but you know what they say - better late than never.... And it's actually a fridge magnet in real life now.

Hoping that everything is OK with you Shan! Everyone is a little worried about you! Hopefully things are fine and it's just a computer glitch or something.

It was good to catch up with Kylie last night for a chat too. You know we're all there for you. Hang in there girl. You are doing amazingly well and I admire you so much.

Back to work tomorrow - a little bit mixed about my enthusiasm. I think it's just that that cut off point is looming again and I'm feeling like all the work has been for nothing. The prospect of going out looking for a new job isn't thrilling me, but I guess at the end of the day whatever is meant to be will happen and we'll all make the best of it one way or the other.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

More Lyrics & some...

Finally got around to completing the lyrics for week 3 of the Mini Book Challenge at Scrap Pile. Hey I'm only a week behind and a new word comes out on Monday... easy {cough choke} Well hey, it's MEANT to be a challenge.... that's why it's called... well.... a challenge!

So here is the page with the lyrics below and the music it goes with can be found here called Mean To Me.

Actually the music probably wasn't originally called anything like "Mean To Me"... but as it happens with this guy who writes the stuff - he has had a habit of not giving a lot of them titles.... He's presently being re-trained... LOL

I still haven't done the facing page that is supposed to have a photo. I actually think coming up with photos to go with the lyrics create a bigger challenge than writing the lyrics themselves. I may have to get creative and take some photos especially for this thing at this rate. I just keep thinking all the photos of me have been so done to death already with scrapbooking and this blog that I'm sick of seeing them... but we'll see.

Shane & I spent the best part of the afternoon going through a long list of things that need to be done on the music side of things. It's been a while, and that car accident put everything way too seriously aside and behind. After you left guy I thought of a few more things we should have added, but I'll add that to the list in my head and we'll work on it. At least now we have a CD image for "Grumpo" that we're both happy with (and no spelling mistakes....) and have some ideas on where to take this roadshow. If you are having a party and you want some awesome dance music - give us a call! I'll also be very pleased when the piano CD "Swimming With Sharks" is ready too because there are truly some remarkable pieces on there and I want the world to hear them. That said, I should get off this blog and go work on the image for SWS...

Friday, August 24, 2007

A token Layout

One LO done for this weekend's Cyber Crop at Scrap Pile.

This one from a photo Lakeisha took last winter when we were heading home over the Westgate Bridge. The light coupled with the streak of water across the windscreen of the car made the photo rather interesting I thought.

Looking forward to tonight and chatting with the girls. They keep me sane.

And thank you Wendy for last night. I luv ya girl. I don't know what I would do without you sometimes.

Getting a grip.

Life should come with Jesus Bars I've decided. You know of course what Jesus Bars are.... Whatever it is that you grab hold of in impending danger - like in a car crash or something - the thing you reach for as you scream "Jesus - we'll all be killed" or something equally intelligent before the big bang happens. Life needs Jesus Bars. Something to grab hold of before you fall over the edge.

There are probably lots of other things life needs as well. Sometimes it would be handy if people just said what they meant. I am reminded of one of my favourite movie quotes - it comes from the Anthony Hopkins / Brad Pitt - Meet Joe Black movie - Where Anthony Hopkins says to Brad Pitt "Don't blow smoke up my ass - it'll ruin my autopsy".

With my classic Days of Our Lives past... I'm trying so hard today to live in the real world, face the day to day realities with some sense of dignity, try to find some happiness and satisfaction, and do the best I can in my life and my work. But some days I just feel like I'm a tennis ball. The ballboy keeps throwing me to the players and I'm there waiting to be a part of the winning team... but more often than not I get served into the wrong court and end up on the sidelines again.

It's taken me 46 years to come to appreciate - truly appreciate - my worth as a human being on the face of this planet. The sad part is that sometimes I think it's going to take another 46 years for the rest of the world to see it too. But then it's true what they say - self praise is no recommendation.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

You never know.

It is always a frightening thing to me - just how fragile life can be and as I've said so many times before, how your life can be changed in an instant. And so tonight my thoughts are with our dear friend Kylie at who received news today that her brother had passed away.

There simply are no words you can say to help at a time like this. I just hope that she knows her friends care for her and are there for her.

Tell those you love that you love them every single day, and give them a hug every time they leave you. Make the most of every day you have on the face of this earth. For you never know what is around the corner......

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Meeting Tracey

Oh wow well I've finally met you girl!!!!!! I can't tell you how excited I was to actually get to meet up with the lovely TraceyJayne! And thanks to neighbour Rob for making the trip with me - chaperone & designated driver - so it was a really easy night for me. I was so excited I was actually ready to leave almost an hour before we were due to go. I almost phoned Rob at about 2:00 p.m. to say ready whenever you are. But anyway we headed off at about 3:10 (Rob being the one to be fashionably late and not me).

First stop was the city to buy 2 boxes of Krispy Kreme Donuts... one to eat last night and of course one to take home because life wouldn't be worth living if I didn't bring a box home for the Boofcheese! (No Rob I have no idea how Lakeisha got that name....). Actually one of the funniest things for the night was Rob. He doesn't get out much our Rob. Nice guy but happiest with his horses out riding a trail. Not big on the city. But it was a bit like taking a kid to the circus for the first time. You know that wide eyed look.... LOL. Anyway we finally located the store. Rob being Rob decided to park about 2 blocks away and walk back so we had a nice brisk walk back to his car when I finally did get served. At least the line wasn't out the door this time. Lakeisha & I have been known to stand in a line that started a few metres outside the store......

Phoned Tracey to say we were in town. Located the hotel and found a parking spot. Walking up the street and there she was in the window. A scream or two and a huge hug later and there we were. It's funny but I remember thinking about how comfortable it was straight away. I didn't feel any awkwardness at all as you sometimes do when you meet someone for the first time. Goes to show how well you can get to know a person just via the internet but then I suppose it isn't the first time that has happened now - has it Bryon? LOL

Anyway we went up to the room and checked out the view. What a room! Imagine having the Arts Center Spire in your back yard. That was about it. Awesome. So we wandered out to the street and up the road a bit to the Eureka Tower - 88 floors up and windows all round. What an incredible sight and well worth the look. I wish I had taken the time to get to know Lakeisha's camera a little better before I went because the sight was just breathtaking but I didn't get many really good photos unfortunately. From there we wandered along beside the river chatting and then headed off to a restaurant for dinner. Then back to the hotel for a chat and a few drinks. Text messages flying off around the country.... photos via sms.... Ahhh girls what can I say - jealousy is a curse!

But I have to say the funniest part of the evening was Tracey sharing her experience meeting Ditch Davey the night before. Lets just say she being somewhat under the weather didn't believe it was him and kept pestering him all night. I'm not sure the young lady he was with would have been quite so thrilled - but hey - at least you got his autograph!!!!!!! Damn I knew I should have come down there yesterday LOL

Rob dropped me off at home at about 1:30 a.m. Pretty tired but at the same time it was hard to sleep. Had a really fantastic night and I still can't believe we've actually met! I think we girls at really need to get together. Imagine what a whole group of us could have got up to!!!!! [sigh]

OK here are some of the pictures that were clear enough to post.... I'm off to study the camera instructions for next time.

View from the Hotel balcony
MMMMMMMMMM Krispy Kremes
View looking across to the Tennis Centre from the Skydeck
Tracey SMS to Julie
Us where???  A bottle shop of course LOL

Saturday, August 18, 2007

What lies ahead....

In an effort to make the most of tonight, I thought I would try to get a bit more sleep in this morning. Alas to no avail. Instead I spent most of the time lying there pondering all sorts of things. Restfully pondering, but pondering none the less.

I was thinking mostly about a girlfriend of many years who is going through some serious relationship issues after a long marriage which could best be described as unfulfilling. I saw so many similarities between her feelings and my own at so many times throughout my life. Mostly that fear of the unknown, the fear of being unable to cope without the partner you have, the fear of what the future holds, the fear of whether letting go is the best thing to do. Sometimes no matter how bad the situation is (and believe me I did it in my last relationship), those familiar feelings are often the thing that hold us to a situation, and even though the future could be bigger, brighter, happier out of that relationship, that fear and lack of confidence in ourselves holds us to the known rather than allowing us to explore the future in a different way. Sometimes we would rather suffer the known than fail at the unknown. And when you think about it - that's pretty stupid to suffer without even trying to make a better life for yourself.

My friend is waiting for her partner to make the decision. Even though the waiting is causing immense distress for her. She is spending time worrying about how she will cope personally and financially, even though she is very capable, physically able to earn money and has friends who care a great deal about her. As I said to her the other day, you are waiting for him to decide for you, what happens to the rest of your life! And in my opinion, every day spent in misery, is a day less you have for the rest of your life to spend in a happy place. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You can't change anything about the past. You've done what you can, the things you did were what you wanted at the time, and made the decisions in your life that have led you to where you are RIGHT NOW. All that is important is the decisions you make from right now as to where your life goes from here.

Life is short. Some of us are reminded of that more often than others I guess. As one who has had a near death experience, I suppose I appreciate a little more than some just how fragile life can be. In the blink of an eye, your world can be turned upside down - and what if you just existed and never really lived. That is probably why I believe in living for the future and not in the past.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Exciting weekend

Well a big weekend ahead - with the highlight of heading down to Melbourne to meet Tracey!!!! I am so looking forward to this. I'm always surprised how you can meet people on the internet and get to know them so well you feel as though you've known them for years. Hopefully there will be photos to post soon........

In the meantime even though it's very early - I need some sleep!

Monday, August 13, 2007

thank you....

Terri for this gesture. The sentiment wasn't lost and I appreciate the kind words. It's funny how this whole blogging thing has been addictive and theraputic all at the same time. I don't know that it matters whether people actually read it or not, but somehow it gives me some perspective on my own life. A kind of ever changing benchmark on which I can gauge the ups and downs of my world.

I'd like to pass this along to Kylie who inspires me with her energy, her dedication to her family and her unique personality and ability to make time for even the smallest details.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

The new challenge

Oh God what have I got myself into....

Mini Album Challenge on Scrap Pile thanks to Mel & Tammy. Create a mini album and there will be a word of the week for 8 weeks. You have to scrap the word somewhere in your journaling. OK so I thought scrapping a word isn't so hard. Lets make it a real challenge. What most people don't know is that I've dabbled at poetry and lyrics for a number of years. Although it's not often I've shared the poetry and there are only 3 people who have ever read any of the lyrics. So I thought - why not make a challenge for myself - write lyrics for the challenge instead of just journaling. So this morning I wrote my first song for the challenge - easy as since the word was LOVE.... So here is the cover and the first two pages of my Mini Album which I have entitled "Lyrics To Live By".

This particular lyrical creation was to go with the piece of music entitled "AWAKE" which is a gorgeous piano piece by Shane. Although I feel a little guilty about borrowing it for my own use.... My ability at writing probably rates at a minus 1 and I kind of felt a bit like I had just taken delivery of a brand new red Ferrari and then took out a tub of house paint and painted it mission brown or something.... LOL. But anyway - it's just for an album that will sit and collect dust in my room, so hopefully it won't reflect too badly on the beautiful inspirational piece it accompanies.

Once all the pages are finished it will be joined together with rings and decorated with ribbon. I actually am cutting out the pages myself from chipboard instead of using a commercial one. I was inspired by the Lucky Me layout for the shape of this mini album. So we'll see how it goes. 8 Songs in 8 weeks is a stretch and I may regret it, but hey what is life without a challenge.......

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Scrapbooking productive...

Well if nothing else I've achieved some scrapbooking today. It's been miserable & chilly all day, so being upstairs in my favourite spot has been absolutely the best place to be today. Another LO to use up the rest of the BasicGrey Infusion paper from the August DT pack from the girls at Scrap Pile.

This one entitled Just One Beautiful Moment. A pic of my Nan when she first got to meet Lakeisha. As the journaling says though, she was suffering the onset of Dementia at the time and really didn't grasp I don't think the fact that this was her Great Granddaughter. I still miss my Nan and often wish she had been well enough to get to know Lakeisha. She would have been as proud of her as I am without doubt.

Saturday Morning musings

Why is it when you need sleep you just can't seem to get it... Good intentions to get sleep last night but woke on a couple of occasions in the wee hours of the morning and gave up around 5:30. Well I guess if nothing else I did get another layout done for Scrap Pile. This one entitled "Lucky Me" which is a kind of contradiction of terms when I'm really just feeling tired and not that lucky right at the moment.

I'm not even sure I really believe in the concept of Luck anyway. The Luck referred to in the LO isn't really luck like constantly having good things happen to you kind of luck. It's more about feeling lucky/grateful/fortunate that I have a relatively good life, good health and some positive things in my world that give me pleasure. I don't think life is about being lucky. When it comes to life I think to a certain degree you create your own luck with the choices you make on a day to day basis. That said, I believe everything happens for a reason, even the bad things, but it's what you do with those experiences, how you choose to react to them and how you allow them to affect your future that is the crucial part of making the most of life.

Someone said to me the other day that the choices I have made in my life at the moment are quite brave and they admired my courage in pursuing them. I've been thinking about that over the past week or so. I don't think it's so much about being brave, but more about not having too many options and taking the path that appeals the most at the time. Most of the time I think the choices I make are made because I think they are the best option all things considered at the time. But then sometimes you are faced with choices that leave you with very few options and I'm sure I've said it before, but often life is more about what you can't live without than what you can live with. For me, life is about being happy and fulfilled. I guess how long I walk along those paths have, and will always be, determined by whether those needs continue to be fulfilled. Right now I spend far too much time alone, and that isn't me and it isn't fulfilling, and I clearly see a need to do something about it.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Catching Up

This week has been one that has really caught me by surprise. I have been so tired all week and have actually slept in 3 mornings which is really so unlike me. But it's also been a week with a few dramas. Yeah I hear you.... what week of my life isn't full of drama... Well you know at least life isn't boring!

The week started with Monday.... as weeks do.... I went in to work as usual. Got in there at about 5:45 a.m. Started turning on computers etc. Getting everything ready to go to air. 5 to 6 and no Shane. So I try to call - phone goes straight to messagebank. Now keep in mind this is the first time he's driven in by himself since the accident and he's in a loan car that is really old and hasn't been started in months. 6:00 a.m. comes and I'm just about to head into the studio to start the breakfast show after the news is finished and all of a sudden there is this huge BANG in the roof and the lights go out. I about had a heart attack and I bolted out of the station to the front door. Had no idea what happened or what to do - shaking like a leaf - heart pounding.

4 minutes past 6, the news finishes and I'm thinking there is no way I'm going back in there by myself. Until I realise I've left my mobile phone sitting in the studio! I'm worried of course that there could be a fire and I don't want to get trapped in there - mind you it's a really small shop we rent. Besides which by this time I'm really worried I haven't heard anything from Shane. So I dash back in and grab the phone. Try to call. Still no answer. No idea who to ring about the lights. Not really giving a rats by this stage. So I decide to go and lock the gate to the arcade and sit in the car and decide what to do.

Next thing I get a 101 message on my phone. It's Shane - his car has broken down 5km from home - could I come and pick him up. No mobile service there so I realise he's had to WALK 5km back to a phone box and it's pouring rain....So I drive out to where he lives which is a good 25 minutes out of town. Find the car. No him. Realise of course he's probably walking BACK the 5km to the car. Manage to locate him about half way between the town and the car - a bit soggy, not real happy but pleased to see a car that actually pulled over.

We had to push the car off the road because it had stopped on a bend and there wasn't enough room to get it off the road. Of course it's uphill LOL. Thanks so much to the 2 cars that drove past as we struggled with the thing....We finally get back into town. Get to the radio station. I'm half expecting to see the fire brigade there hosing down the building but no.... So inside we go. I'm not about to start fiddling with anything in the dark. By this stage it's 7:00 a.m. but pitch black inside the studio except for the light from the computer screen. So we decide to go on air but we can't read anything from newspapers or anything, I can barely see the page I printed off with the weather and in the end I had to pull the clock off the wall and sit it beside the computer screen so I could see the time to cross to the 8:00 and 9:00 a.m. news services.

Ahhh the things we do to bring the radio program to the public.... what a dedicated bunch we are. Or is that just plain crazy?

So Tuesday morning and of course I get to do the radio show by myself. I hate doing the radio show by myself. I HATE it. Trying to sound even the least bit interesting or motivated is difficult for me when I'm on my own. Did I mention I hate doing it by myself? OK well I managed to get through it but have I mentioned how much I HATE doing it by myself?

Wednesday morning the alarm went off obviously but I just didn't manage to hear it until it went off at 5:00 a.m. Now usually I am up at 4 and out the door around 5:15. So you can imagine that waking up with 15 minutes to spare is not ideal. I did manage to get out the door by 25 past 5 but it was not pretty. Then Thursday morning I also slept in - although I did manage to wake up at 4:45 which was a little better. This morning I slept in until 4:30. So although I'm improving slightly, I still need to heed the warning that the body isn't coping I think. I really do need to try to catch up on some sleep this weekend otherwise next week is likely to be really ugly. Oh and I almost forgot - of course the lovely Blake didn't turn up on Friday so that made another morning I had to do the breakfast show by myself. Did I mention I hate doing it alone? hmmm maybe I did.

I know it's not just lack of sleep. I know I need to deal with it and get my mind under control. It's just not always easy.

As much as I have felt exhausted from work and emotionally drained by other stress in my life, I still feel very positive. I doubt I could keep going without that positive feeling backing me. At a time when I want things to be moving ahead, they seem to have come to a standstill and in some respects taken a step backwards. There have been times when I've felt a little abandoned and doubted the committments made. But then there have throughout this time also been incredible sacrifices and gestures that surely should reassure me. Life can indeed be very difficult at times.
Another weekend of very little planned except rest and some scrapping. I am really looking forward to the scrapping - provided of course I can come up with a photo to scrap!

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Time After Time...

Awake too many times last night and finally gave up on sleep at 6:00 a.m. so I started my August Design Team layouts for Scrap Pile. This one entitled Time After Time. I've already scrapped this photo of Lakeisha taken on my mobile phone at the 2006 business awards but I really love the photo and thought it was perfect for the LO. The lyrics down the side of the page are Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper and to be honest it was a toss up as to who to scrap this page for. There are probably 4 people who would have been perfect subjects, but given I was using a lot of pink I figured this would be the best photo to use.

Friday night was the Battle of the Bands. It was nice to catch up with a few people I hadn't seen in a while and interesting to see how some of the bands had progressed since I had last heard them 5 months ago at the Otway Idol comp. Interesting to hear some of the comments from the judges - our beloved Shane being one of them. But anyway they came up with a popular choice for their winner so they got out alive LOL. I had a great night start to finish. It was nice for a change to have a normal night out, good food and in good company. Beats sitting at home in front of the computer on your own any day.

Miserable weather this weekend. So much rain that the back yard is flooded yet again. Thankfully the new load of wood delivered last week is actually burning well - funny that it's actually burning hotter and lasting longer than the load of sugar gum that cost 3 times as much! Figures.....