So many subjects - So little time.....

Ahhh what to write about. So many things happening all at once and yet what do I focus on. I guess this is really the problem right at the moment if there is a "problem" in my life. Too many things to draw my attention and just one thing that attracts it. I am finding it so difficult to focus on so many aspects of my life right at the moment as I wait for the one most important thing to my heart to play his cards and make the move that would ultimately make me the happiest woman on the face of the planet. And while I understand the difficulty, the fear, and the repercussions, all I can see are the incredible benefits and the exciting future that lies down that path. Patience...... I have learned that nothing worth having comes easily.

A conversation with a friend this week about the impact we have on people's lives without even being aware of it sometimes, brought to home just how important it is to have friends and support in times of stress. Having someone to talk to, knowing people care and being able to unload some of the weight we carry on a daily basis can often mean the difference between coping and not. I truly do not know where I would be right now without my online friends. Even though many of us have never met in real life, there is an incredible understanding of what each of us goes through in our daily lives, and just simply knowing that people are out there who care about you can get you through the toughest patches.

At the same time there are some who choose to judge you because your life is different from theirs. It's funny but for me I actually feel sorry for them. I think when you judge someone because they are different from you, you lose perspective on life so much. I embrace difference as I feel it gives me the perspective I need to understand how life works. Especially my own life. It gives me the heights for my hurdles, the length of my races and the value of my awards. So that's fine - judge me for my life choices if you want, but be aware that at least the decisions and choices I make for my own life are done with such love and passion and dedication that if I should fall, I will go out burning and blazing rather than living some safe, dull existance for which I would never be remembered.

So much happening this week not the least of which includes our relocation to nearby Warrion Hill for the radio transmission site but also a whole pile of challenging moves that will test even my patience. Fingers crossed.....

Interesting day

School reunions I must admit have never really inspired me. I attended one a number of years ago with a friend that was more a battle of ego's with who had done what and so I hadn't really given a lot of thought to attending one of my own. However today was the 30th year get together of my High School Year 10 class of 1977 and even though at lunch time I was still a bit ho hum about whether I would go, I decided to get my act together and do it. And I'm so glad I did. I must admit the turn out was more than I expected with about 30 or so arriving at the school for the get together and tour and probably around 45 arriving at one of the local pubs for dinner.

It really was a very pleasant experience and there were lots of memories and many laughs. I suppose I was one of the lucky ones to have pleasant memories of my school years. I got along with most of the teachers and managed to achieve good grades, but I also had a really nice group of friends. It was so wonderful to catch up with Diane & Roslyn & Liddy (Elizabeth) & Robyn in particular who were 4 of the group I used to hang out with at school. Roslyn I see occasionally in town, but Diane has lived in Melbourne for over 20 years and in that time I've seen her maybe twice, and Liddy & Robyn are now in Panmure & Warrnambool respectively and I don't think I've seen either of them pretty much since we left school.

It's incredible how the memories of so long ago stay with us, and it's funny how even after 30 years you can suddenly be transported back to a time long gone and to a sense of comfort even though it was a lifetime ago. I certainly didn't feel 46 and in fact I felt no real age at all - just the same relaxed ambience I recall feeling with these beautiful ladies way back when we were all just kids, even though we have all gone on to lead such different lives.

I did take my camera, but I didn't take any photos. There were so many cameras there I figure there will be more than enough photos floating around over the next few days. I will post some as soon as I receive them and I think I will probably end up scrapping a layout about the day as well.

Aside from that my week has been a bit of a mix. The 100th Cereal Offenders Breakfast show went to air on Friday and to celebrate we had arranged for everyone to come in that morning - Shane, Julie, Frank & Sue...... I should have been thrilled and celebrating but starting the morning with the studio computer dying, having to rush around while the show was going to air to change computers and get some music up and running was to say the least challenging. 3/4 hour into the show Shane still hadn't arrived so I was really distressed as to what had happened and ended up leaving the show in the hands of Frank & Julie while I went looking for him fearing the worst...... I got 10 minutes out of town and turned on the radio only to find he was in the studio.... and had to turn around and come back. I'm still not sure what happened to Sue only that her husband said she had gone to work....

I'm also currently doing a TAFE course on a Tuesday night. I'm not sure if it was the best idea to take it on right at this time despite the fact that the price was a bargain and all. With everything else going on in my life at the moment, I'm not sure what I was thinking believing that I could cope with the workload, the added pressure or the late night. I just wish my head was clearer and I could focus. I'm not sure that is entirely possible right now.

And on the home front.... well what can I say. Life is so short. We do, I believe, get second chances to see the changes we need to make in our lives. Most of us do actually get indications as to where our lives should progress. Some of us see them. Some of us don't. After all the crap I have had to put up with in my life, I appreciate the importance of making the most of each and every day. I guess that's why I find it difficult to understand why there are people out there who let days / weeks / months slip away without taking the necessary moves to ensure their future is something worth pursuing. Nothing can change the past. But each and every one of us holds the key to the future life we lead. If you never use that key to open the right lock - then the door of opportunity is wasted.

Messages

BC&I say C&LWU

Some Sunday Nights

Scrapping weekend!

I know there were a thousand other things I was going to do this weekend, but I am pleased to now have the layouts I had planned to do this week all out of the way. The only one I didn't get done was a Design Team one that I'm really stuck on - the whole "Boy" thing is just really keeping me tied in knots and aside from having no photo of a "Boy" to scrap, I just don't have the inspiration to use the word "Buddies" either LOL. Call me un-Australian.

Anyway, the new LO was in the previous blog entry, but what I've done is create two new LO's that go with existing ones. I now have 3 Double LO's and that's one more than I needed. Decisions decisions.......





Awesome to see that the girls on SB.com are actually looking at coming to meet up in Melbourne and what a fantastic weekend that will be. I can't wait and I'll be getting that accommodation booked just as soon as we know how many people are coming!

I had an interesting phone call this morning, Sister-In-Law Rosemary called to see how we were doing. They are really such nice people and bare little resemblance to the brother who evidently by all accounts "hasn't changed a bit" on his recent visit home according to the phone call. And you would expect that why????? Pity he didn't send some money to the people he owes it to, instead of spending a fortune on a trip to NZ trying to impress everyone. I'm told most weren't impressed and that he was just as arrogant as ever, so it was a waste of money.

Sunday almost over. Another week begins. Wonder what gems await for this one!

Latest Layout

Just a quick post with the layout I created today for the Scrap Pile DT for October. Entitled "She" - this is actually my very first double layout.

Blogging Badly

Well maybe not badly - just not blogging.... There are times when I want to write and really don't know what to say. Partly because I feel confused about what to write. Sometimes because I feel I don't have the right to write. And partly because some of the subjects or day's events have just simply been too painful to put down.

This past week for me has been interesting to say the least and what I have been left with is a real sense of empowerment and enlightenment. And for the first time I was left with the overwhelming desire to cast aside certain concerns and feel free to demonstrate and embrace those things that are most important to me.

Yesterday we achieved a great goal for the radio station in that we participated in an OB (outdoor/offsite broadcast) for a Youth Expo locally which showcased the different opportunities for youths in the area, everything from employment opportunities to hobbies & sports. And while the day was incredibly successful all round, the one thing which highlighted the event for me was the further insight to a special man who just goes beyond any expectations I ever have no matter what he undertakes to assist me with.

Shane you just never cease to amaze me, the talent, the intelligence, the compassion and the love. You spent 7 hours on air, your interviews were incredible, your enthusiasm never wained, your humour as always was there right to the end and even when others walked away, you were there to support me right to the very last moment. I could not have done this thing without you and I was in awe that you would be prepared to support me without one single word of complaint despite the experience being both physically draining and painful. You are truly the most unique human being it has ever been my pleasure to know and love.

Here are a few photos and funnies from the past month.....


"BOOFCHEESE"

"HIM"


Lakeisha doing her radio show.

BC & FLF
aka Furry Little Friend
(remind you of anyone?)

BC at Culture
Sarah & Lakeisha

Oh he is sooooo going to hate me for this......
Don't worry dear one - the rest of us needed better lighting by this late stage of the day as well... You look fine to me!

Patience

It's true what they say - Patience is a virtue. It's just a pity I don't have as much of it as I would like. Although I am very proud of the fact that I am a lot more patient these days than I used to be. But I think it's because I have finally come to the conclusion that stressing out over the fact that things aren't happening at the pace you want them to is just a waste of time and energy. Things come to you when they are meant to and if they are meant to. And if they don't there is always a reason for it. Maybe not a reason you will (now or ever) understand, but there IS indeed a reason in the grand scheme of things and we are better off accepting it than fighting it.

At the moment I am trying so hard to be patient. Trying to keep focused on the things I want. Trying to keep a positive frame of mind. Trying not to let those backward steps on the path to the future discourage me. It's damned hard. Sometimes I get down and think it's impossible. But I keep reminding myself that I have the courage and the will to keep moving forward no matter what life throws in my path. When I look at the cluttered mess that I have already stepped over and risen above, I can not do anything but look to the future with a sense of optimism, a passion for living life to the full extent, and an overwhelming desire to never relive the negatives of the past. So that patience as much as it may be frustrating and at times lacking, I know will deliver me to a better place eventually.

Love and all that....

Love is such an incredible thing. And being "In" love is such an incredible experience. It doesn't matter how old you are, I think it affects you the same no matter if you are 16 or 46. That would be my experience anyway.

But I guess the whole concept of being "in love" varies so much from individual to individual. I think over the past 10 years I have come to understand that it means so many different things to people. I've come to the conclusion that the key to success in a relationship is finding that person to whom the value of relationships and the very nature of why they exist means the same them as it does to you. And as much as that might sound like a bit of a "duh" comment, I am struck by the fact that so often we are blinded by what we see and forget what we need.

When you suddenly find your needs are being met, it really hits you just how much you've been missing over the years. I know that so many of the needs I have had over the years have been completely ignored by those I have shared my life with. I know that my interests and personal goals, while sometimes briefly acknowledged, have not been encouraged, praised nor supported in an ongoing positive way. More often than not, I believe my efforts have been in many ways sabbotaged and that lack of moral support (or worse - criticism and judgement) tends to lead to a lack of confidence in the ability to reach for that interest or goal. In my last relationship I know that wherever possible every moment of joy would get sucked out of anything that gave me pleasure, to a point where I simply no longer wanted to continue with it - no matter what it was. So at this point in my life when those needs are being met again, I feel a real sense of something related to anger for the loss of all that enjoyment from the past.

To me, having a partner in life is about encouragement, support, enjoying life, being positive, striving to improve, sharing, giving and taking, being fair, trusting and honouring. I'm not sure that was in any particular order, just as it came to me, but certainly that's some of the more important things to me. There are probably lots more too, but for me they form the foundation. But being there for one another, is just the most important thing. Good or Bad - just being there. Everyone needs to know they are cared about and sometimes it's just the most simple things that give evidence that that exists......