Sunday, December 28, 2008

Shame Shame Shame

If Derryn Hinch were here I'm sure I would be getting the old "Shame" speech. And I do feel guilty! The poor old blog is a bit like an untended garden. I can even see the weeds poking up. Yes I'm ashamed. What was once a very dear and trusted friend which helped me get through some seriously tough times in my life has been neglected terribly. I hate neglecting things that are important to me. I seriously need to make a much better effort.

There has been so much happening too. It's not as though nothing has been happening in my life. I just seem to have so much less time these days to spend doing many of the things I enjoy. That in itself is a serious shame. I don't recall exactly when I last scrapbooked anything, I rarely bake anything these days, I can't remember the last time we had a dinner party at home, I fell asleep reading a book last night after only reading a very small amount, and the time spent doing other things I find enjoyable seems to be few and far between.

But that said, I am certainly not unhappy. In fact to the contrary I would have to say I have never felt more fulfilled or content in my life. This relationship is everything I have ever dreamed of and more. There is a sense of being not only complete but also an incredible freedom and sense of self. A partnership, the like I have never experienced. A closeness and bonding that is not only comforting but which evokes confidence in it's support. And an incredible sense of "oneness" without a hint of ownership. I couldn't have asked for a better relationship.

Well Christmas has come and gone. I have to say it was one of the happiest Christmas's I can recall. It wasn't particularly spectacular for any specific reason, it was just refreshing, full of love, and pleasant. I was very well looked after in the gift department, and really enjoyed watching Shane and Lakeisha open their gifts particularly. The look on Shane's face when he opened the gift I had made for him made the work worthwhile. Given now he's seen it, I can safely post the pictures here. I was so pleased with how this came up. It looks, I think, much better "in the flesh" as it were but the photos give you some idea.

Given there have been so many changes in Shane's life over the past 4 months, Christmas was of course going to be yet another major event that would be quite different. I was so concious of making sure he enjoyed the experience, perhaps a bit too concious. But then I always have been a bit of a worrier. I need not have worried as he was determined himself to enjoy the festive season. I must admit I was a little concerned when it looked for a while that a real tree could not be found, but finally he managed to locate a seller in Geelong. After looking through an old suitcase of decorations, we culled much of what it contained, raided my rather large stash, and this is what we came up with. It looked superb at night with the lights on.

Sadly I remembered as the gifts were being removed from under our own tree on Christmas morning, I hadn't taken a photo. I did make a mental note for next year - just red and green wrapping paper, this year I went for red, green and gold. It looked good, but I think just red and green next year.

Unfortunately I didn't get as many Christmas Cards done as I had hoped. Time just seemed to evade me this year completely. One moment I had more than a month before December started and the next minute it was almost Christmas and I have no idea where the time went in between. And as much as I've said it before, I really will make an effort to be more organised for next year. I think there have been so many things that have had the enjoyment taken from them over recent years, Christmas was most certainly one of them. I always was a bit of a Christmas Junkie and yet the past couple of years I've felt a bit blah about the whole concept. Time to change. Time to take back the joy for all things.

The past few months have not been without their trials though too. As much as we have come to expect some "residue" from the past, even I have been a little taken back at some of the tactics that have been employed. Predominantly it's been a whole bunch of misguided desperation and while I don't remain completely untouched by the emotion of the experience, I am reminded constantly that we all choose the paths we take, we are all responsible for our part in any scenario and to live with one's head in the sand is the perfect recipe for failure. If nothing else it has renewed and strengthened my faith, love and support of this incredible man I love and has shown me yet again the importance of open and honest communication.

I am so much looking forward to getting to know Shane's family better. I have never been one to dwell much on the things I don't have, I've always preferred to be grateful for the things I do have. But if there is anything I have wished for, it's family ties. And while I know my own immediate family has always been close despite our moments.... I have always had a sense of desire for a wider family closeness. I've often joked that being an only child is a family tradition - given Mum, myself and Lakeisha are all under that umbrella. I often wonder how nice it would be to have that extended family especially at times like Christmas.

In the meantime we've also had Graduation from High School, a credible Enter Score to get the desired Uni placement, a wonderful month of work with the Shire that has truly given me a sense of belonging I've probably not experienced in most jobs I've worked, a really fun Allforks Christmas party at the Melbourne Aquarium with Marty Fields hosting (lots of laughs and another memorable night in Melbourne), Christmas Eve and a bit of a family outing to see the Wise Gents, not to mention a whole bunch of goals, hopes and dreams to aim for in 2009. And so I will leave you with a few pictorial memories of the past few weeks....... along with a great desire to actually scrap a few of them!

My boss Neil - a sense of humour with his roof leak!

My office - in Xmas Mode....

Shane collecting his award at the Xmas Breakup.

I'm sure you can imagine our nickname for this fish!

This guy never stopped swimming the tank all night.

The Wise Gents at The Sports Bar - Xmas Eve

More Xmas Eve pics - the Family outing

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Has it been a week?

I find it incredible lately that time flies so fast. I'm not sure if it's the fact that it's almost the end of the year or the fact that I'm working full time.... but something is conspiring against me to ensure the days simply run into one another.

We had the most wonderful weekend in Sydney, Shane and I. It was truly one of those spur of the moment decisions to do something somewhat wild and crazy but I have to say in doing these things, I realize not only how lucky I am to have this man at my side, but also how wonderful it is to be alive. Did I happen to mention lately how lucky I am to have this man at my side???????

Having met Wayne & Jodie via the Facebook program "YoVille" some months back, we decided virtually on the spur of the moment to make a trip to Sydney to meet them. One night we made a phone call to chat with them and said "Hey guys - you arrange the party and we'll bring the music" and the next thing you know we are in Albion Park for the weekend. If I might say so - despite my somewhat biased opinion - Grumpo was spectacular. If you haven't heard his music (given it's rarely featured - nay never - on my blog) you can go HERE to listen to it. The thing which never ceases to amaze me is the diverse age group this wonderful music appeals to.

A very early morning flight to Sydney, Breakfast at Circular Quay, a subsequent walk and a very leisurely train ride south to Albion Park was just the start of a memorable weekend. I had to laugh when on the way there Shane raised the concern of what were we thinking going to stay with a couple we had never met before - something along the lines of Axe Murderers etc... But it's funny, I think Wayne and Jodie were exactly as I had imagined them to be. Two very lovely genuine people who certainly know how to entertain. Here are a few images from the weekend.

And YES the sky WAS THAT blue................

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

New photos

Thanks to Rosanna for delivering the additional photos I ordered this afternoon. I really like this one and of course we needed a full length picture of the dress.....