Busy Scrapper

There were other things that needed to be done but when you need to scrap you need to scrap. I could claim the artistic factor - you know - "when you get inspiration you need to get it down in writing/on canvas" idea. But the fact is that I just simply needed to keep my mind from wandering in places it shouldn't. So here was the result...







Along with some Christmas Tags that I made for a class on Scrap Pile.



Concert tonight at COPACC featuring The Wise Gents and The Vascoe Era. Should be fun. Lakeisha has to go since she is on the Freeza Committee that is running it and so that means the Taxi needs to be there as well (aka me). Fortunately being a bit of a Wise Gents fan as I am - there wasn't a whole bunch of arm twisting to get me there. Although having a late night on a Sunday night isn't the BEST thing for those of us who have to wake in the wee hours of the morning. But hey - you are only "young" once right? LOL

Oh and a change to the music. Thought I would put the tune that I wrote lyrics for that I renamed "Mean to Me" which is a reference to What You Mean To Me - not that anyone is Mean LOL. You can find the lyrics HERE

New Layout

Here is my latest layout created for the Cyber Crop at Scrap Pile last night. Just goes to show how my mind is elsewhere as I forgot to even post about the CC on here this week. Anyway this layout is entitled "Good & Bad Days" and the journaling is just trying to stay positive about all the bad bits of life and give them a purpose like perspective rather than focusing on them AS bad.



That darned "I Love You" bird has appeared at my house this morning. Wish he would get back to where he is needed. LOL I swear it's call sounds exactly like Lakeisha saying I Love You when she wanted something.

I suspect a fairly quiet day today, perhaps I will be able to catch up on a few things that really need my attention.

Compassion

Today has been such a difficult day. I made the offer to drive Shane to Melbourne for his appointment with the specialist. But as much as I had seen the effects of the treatment before, nothing really prepared me for what I experienced today. I can not believe this man has been driving himself home from these treatments in the past. I mean we've all had falls and seen how long it takes for bruising to appear on the body, but after walking out of the building and showing me the marks on his back & chest from todays treatment - my god! There wasn't a piece of skin on his back that didn't bear the brunt of it. And the pain he experienced just from the drive home made me want to cry. Well actually it did make me cry on the way from his house to mine. I hate feeling so helpless when someone I love is in pain.

Thanks to Frank our resident Brekky Presenter & Reflexologist, I have come to appreciate a new understanding of the body and mind connection. The concept really does seem so simple, but makes sense. Google Reflexology and see what you think.

I just hope that everything can be resolved very quickly. There are such incredible possibilities for the future and some amazing opportunities.

The "I love you" Bird

I wish I knew what type of bird the "I Love You" bird was. I would go hunting for the call on the internet. But we have been having a bit of a laugh about how the call (which I can hear in my head as I write....) sounds like the way Lakeisha used to say I love you when she wanted something. Anyway I am grateful he took up residence somewhere recently. A constant reminder can sometimes be a good thing.

Shane, Lakeisha and I went to the movies on Sunday to see Underdog. I remember the cartoon from so many years ago. But do you think we could remember the call. Finally it came up in the movie. Cute film. Had a few laughs and a nice day out.

So much is happening at the moment that I really can't digest myself. Work, home, health, all issues that are I suppose slowly being addressed. Right now I would give almost anything for a holiday - no matter how brief.... but there is little chance of that for a while I think. Baby steps and patience.

oops...

I just realised that I haven't actually posted about one of the really good things to happen over recent weeks.... Can't believe I missed this one.....

Yep it's our new car!! And it's BOOTIFUL! I just love driving it and it will be so much more comfortable for those trips to Melbourne - won't it!

Being honest with yourself...

And if I were actually being honest with myself I would also include the thing that probably hit me hardest yesterday during the Melbourne trip.

Those who know me know that I'm a bit of a Christmas junkie. I love the whole Christmas thing. I love decorating the tree and buying lovely things to adorn it. I love making lace bows to go on it and the whole "traditional" colour scheme for it. I love seeing Christmassy things around the house. I LOVE to wrap gifts and add gorgeous ribbon to them. This year I want to go with just plain red, plain green and plain gold papers and decorate them with contrasting ribbon. I had such plans for this to be a special Christmas. That was until I got to the Santa Cave yesterday.

Wandering through looking at the incredible trees and all the lights and decorations I was suddenly overcome by an overwhelming sensation of loneliness despite being surrounded by literally hundreds of people. And I suddenly recalled the terrible feelings of last Christmas and all that happened then. I realised a whole pile of things all at once. One was that it didn't really seem like I had achieved anything in almost a year. Two was that I was about to face yet another Christmas alone. And three was that I had no idea this was going to creep up on me until that very moment but all I wanted to do was get out of there and get some fresh air poste haste before I passed out. Stupidly before I did that I made a phone call because I needed to hear a friendly voice and some reassurance. If there is something I should have learned in this life is that if you go looking for reassurance, it's bound to come across sounding not very sincere. And all that does is to make you feel even less assured and more depressed.

I replaced my proposed purchases hastily on a shelf and vacated the building. If I could have had one wish right there and then it would have been to have my car parked right outside, to be able to hop in and drive myself home. Thank god for a bit of shade and a cool breeze. A seat would have been welcome but I guess what I got was enough. I'm still here.

Another difficult week

The most shocking part of this week was the news that one of the student's at Lakeisha's school passed away on Friday morning. Lakeisha was very upset as she had only been talking with her the afternoon before at school. It's impossible to comprehend how her parents must be feeling. And of course it's such a jolt to your system as you inevitably put yourself in their shoes. I just couldn't imagine the pain and the despair, though more than that - I never WANT to imagine or experience the pain and despair.

I am aware that I do have a tendancy to want to have my finger on the pulse, but I am finding it difficult to cope with everything at the moment. I think mostly due to the fact that every part of my life seems to be reliant upon other people's help/decisions/expertice so my "life" can continue down chosen paths. It's creating so much anxiety while I wait and hope those other people know what they are doing, make the right decisions, and get the job done in time. Personally I feel very alone and unsupported right now. I know that I'm tired and that contributes to a lot of my emotional state, and I guess what I really need is some clarity. At the moment I am having a little trouble sorting out the fact from the fiction. And there has been a fair bit of fiction recently. And while I don't believe I am a weak person, having someone or some people with whom you can share your troubles and know that you can rely on or lean on for support - at that time when you need them - just makes any situation so much easier to deal with. An engaged signal on the other end of a phone just makes it all the more difficult and frustrating.

This morning I managed to slip and fall and hurt my knee very early in the morning in Geelong. It happened almost exactly the same way as almost 2 years ago when I broke my kneecap. Tonight it's very painful, very red and very swollen. I'm crossing everything there isn't any real damage done, as I couldn't bare to go through all that again. Julie and I of course went on the Melbourne Shopping bus trip with the Otway Hinterland Events girls. Aside from being in considerable discomfort all day thanks to the throbbing knee it was an interesting trip, lots of laughs and some good shopping. The down side was feeling like crap, and poor Sue having her wallet snatched from her hands by some scumbag who needed a hit or something. Pity the hit wasn't a nearby passing car. It was a long day. Left at 6:15 a.m. and didn't get back into Colac until after 10:00 p.m.

Almost midnight - time for an attempt at some sleep I think...

How proud am I????

Actually I have lots of things to be proud of today. One is that I have an incredible daughter who just never ceases to amaze me at times. I am so proud of the woman she is becoming and of the relationship we've forged over the years. Despite the fact that we don't agree on every single detail in life, my god girl you make me proud every single day.

My mother.... hmmmmm well ok there are times when she drives me crazy I will admit, but there are also moments where I just smile and know how lucky I am to have her. Did she do anything? NO. Did she say anything specific? No. But there are just times when I am reminded of just how incredible my parents have been...... even though sometimes she drives me crazy..........

Shane... There are so many stories. So many incredible moments my friend. I am sitting here listening to this incredible music. Recalling so many incredible memories. And it's only been less than 10 months....... What would I do without you in my life?

Another acceptance from Scrapbooking Creations magazine for this layout....

And a couple of entries for the Colac Show were very positive....

Best Album

and Best Double Layout

W W

I guess WW could stand for a lot of things today.

What a Week
Winter Weekend
What a W@nker
Will I or Won't I

Take your pick. Select one of your own. I'm sure I'm not the only person on the face of the planet who's had a seriously character building week and would like the world to slow down a fraction so I can step off for a small break from life.

Anyway what's done is done, disasters from last week are best forgotten or at least remembered for the wonderful opportunities they presented in their wake. It's so funny but Frank and I were only talking off air on Thursday about the way in which we deal with challenging situations and letting go of perfectionism. And a quote that morning from the newspaper, which I don't fully remember verbatum but went something along the lines that pessimists concentrate on the flaws in their opportunities but optimists concentrate on the opportunities in their flaws. Friday was a big flaw but as a result of it - there came a rare opportunity that will rate as one of those memorable moments in my life together with 2 other memorable comments that made my day also. And I am therefore grateful for the big flaw since the other part was far more important to my heart anyway.

Last night I scrapped a page that was a little out of my comfort zone - well I say a little, but let me say that I moved the patterned paper on this layout around the page so much before I decided to stick it down that I'm sure the textured card behind it was worn through by that stage. Thank you to Melissa for sending me some photos to work with to come up with a "boy" page since I had none of my own. This one entitled "A Boy Thing".



And then this 2nd layout that I finished this morning thanks to Leah who sent me a gorgeous pic of her son Aiden to scrap another Boy page. My printer is playing up at the moment so I have only tentatively stuck this photo on to the page so she can remove it when she receives the layout and print off a better quality one for herself. This one entitled "Cardboard & Scissors" and is based on Shane's favourite saying - Don't believe anyone who tells you they'll make you a star - until you see the Cardboard & Scissors". I think it's a pretty good rule to live by - basically just meaning don't rely on everything everyone tells you because often it's not true or it'll never happen.....



I guess the most challenging thing for this week goes like this..... After having issues all day Friday with the whole radio station - picture me up the mountain at the transmission site until after 8:30 p.m. - trying to fix transmission equipment that I know nothing about (let me be very clear on that one - NO TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE WHAT SO EVER) trying to talk on a mobile phone to a technician in Perth while standing less than 20 metres from a Telstra mobile tower but having so little reception that if you moved more than 30 cm one way or the other you lose ALL signal.... It's a howling gale, rain, I'm standing in a hut that is no more than 3x3 metres in size, it's full of batteries that are at a roaring hum - backup for a computer system within the hut in case the power fails, the door on the hut is like a Safe door. I'm fighting with the door trying to keep it from slamming shut in the wind (Having this nightmare recurring in my head that if the door slams shut and happens to jam - not only will I be plunged into complete darkness with no mobile phone reception, but I'll have the only key to the lock within a 6 hour return drive....) I'm trying to balance a mobile phone, a small torch, a pair of headphones as well as trying to keep the door open AND fix the equipment.

Oh and did I mention up to this point the 6 gates and 3 herds of cattle I had to navigate through to get to the top of the mountain AND I'm wearing a short skirt and high heels? Ahhhh yup......

OK well that week is over.... a new one begins tomorrow.... NEXT PLEASE!