Monday, September 22, 2008

The past revisited

Another week begins and a really nice weekend to reflect on. A visit to the Royal Melbourne Show was a fun day out, although I must admit it was a tad strange visiting the dog section with no dog after all these years. It was neat to catch up with some old friends and have a chat. Funny to watch some of the people look at my face and take a moment to register - hey I know her.... It's hard to believe that apart from our local Kennel Club shows, I haven't been to a dog show since about November of 2006. It doesn't seem like that long ago, but it was. Gone but not forgotten I guess would be the general feeling I left with.

It also lead me to thinking about friendships again, and how some bonds with people seem to surpass all nature of things. How someone you cared about can do the wrong thing by you and at the time you think you will never be able to forgive them, and yet in time all the ill feeling passes and what is left is something I don't quite fully understand, but a certain willingness to forgive but not forget. The acceptance that while you know the friendship will never get back to where it was, there is an understanding that friendship of some form is possible even if it's one at arms length.

I understand the arms length thing. It's like life's safety net, the deliberate act of allowing someone enough proximity to communicate, while keeping enough distance to be able to walk away at the sign of things turning sour again. Sort of damage control I suppose. I experienced that twice yesterday in two sort of bittersweet moments from two very different people I once cared deeply for as friends but who both in the end took another side to a relationship breakdown - it cut very deep wounds that have taken a long time to heal, if wounds like that ever really heal. And it was strange to have both of them greet me with such enthusiasm. But then perhaps the "fall out zone" hadn't affected them quite as much as it had me... who knows.

The other thing from the weekend which has brought about moments of thought is the various reactions to Shane and I being together. It's been a roller coaster of emotions this past month and although I am so proud of the man for his strength and integrity throughout this difficult time, I have seen the strain and felt the pain every step of the way. I think the sad part is there are so few people who really know exactly what he means to me and vice versa. Knowing what the two of us have been through this past year and a half, to have any suggestion this is anything other than what we both know it to be - if nothing else - makes us laugh. But at the same time there is a sadness that so many underestimated the love two people have for each other. The story is far from over. But for those who cared to open their eyes and see the reality, all that is left in view are two people who are very happy and looking forward to forging a future together. Communication, consideration, respect, support, passion and love rate high on the agenda. It will be an interesting life from here on........

Friday night would be a key example of how supported, respected and loved I feel right now. With the last Scrap Pile Cyber Crop being held, I was plonked in front of the computer, with a steady flow of wine, marshmallows, chocolate, dinner cooked and served, regular visits to check if I was enjoying myself/needed anything/shoulder massage, and just generally say I love you certainly achieved the desired result of making sure I had a special night. This is indeed a very special man of the like I have never known. I still pinch myself in disbelief at times but you can be sure I am very aware of the incredible partnership I now have and the desire to ensure it remains healthy always.

And so from the Cyber Crop challenges comes my next scrapping project. Jewls challenge was a card including a butterfly and some stitching. Here is my entry below.


Blogger Melissa said...

I know what you are talking about , when you say keeping PPL that have hurt you in the past at arms length, even though time has dimmed the hurt a little, but you can never forget.Been there done that.It might have been good for you to lay that to rest last weekend.

Maree, just got to say that that card is INCREDIBLE WOMAN....look at that stitching.

3:42 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home