Thursday, August 28, 2008

Many firsts.

It's been a week of many firsts but not in the sense of any races or prizes won. First steps, first experiences, those kinds of firsts. The kind of firsts that rate higher than any ribbon I may have won at a thousand dog shows past - including those Best in Show ones. These are to me now more relevant and more rewarding. Believe it or not.

Some of the steps have been giant leaps of faith while others have been the tedious, small, baby steps of exploration and uncertainty. But each and every one of them pave the way to a bigger and better future. Of that I have absolutely no doubt and an absolute faith.

But above all else there is a sense of trust and integrity, closeness and bonding, and of comfort, but with a freedom I'm guessing neither of us have had the fortune to experience in our past lives. The freedom to be who and what we are without expectation, judgement or ridicule. And I sense that with each hurdle we cross - all of that continues to grow.

It has been interesting to watch the varying degrees of support from the people I have called my friends throughout this entire past 18 months. Even through the really rough times, I have never lost the sense I had about this man I came to love. And while I can understand, in their concern for my wellbeing and happiness, or whatever their motives were, the negative reactions of some, I couldn't help but reflect on some of the less supportive so called friends who have since left my life. I have been called so many things by some people. In the end, I have to say the most important thing in life is to follow your heart and your dreams. And no matter how many times people tell you what a fool you are - if you have no dreams or you don't follow where your heart leads, then you truly are the fool. Having the faith life will deliver you where you are meant to be, makes all the world of difference. Let that be a lesson to you where ever you are in your life. And thank you to those I still call my friend, for being truly what the essence of a friend is - just to be there and to care.

I haven't had the urge to scrapbook anything of relevance these past weeks, but I know the pages I must create and hope to make a start on them soon.


Blogger Melissa said...

I am so glad to hear you feeling brighter and your future taking a terrific turn for the better at long last Maree.You are sucha patient, strong woman and I am proud to call you my friend.I really can't wait to see what you create as it has been sooo long.Love to you all down there.

8:12 pm  
Blogger Chloe said...

Keep your chin up Maree! Things can only get better!

11:00 pm  

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