Monday, October 13, 2008

Weekends need to be longer!

I don't know where this weekend went but I'm sure I got short changed at least a day somewhere. Saturday was a great day! The Birregurra Festival was a good couple of hours of sight and sound entertainment, catching up with a few friends including Caitlyn who was over from Perth for a week. Wandering around the various art and craft exhibitions, smelling the food, watching the people, listening to the music. But more than that, just being in the moment with Shane, sharing the experience. Despite having the camera in my pocket I didn't take a single photo and I'm sure there must have been plenty of opportunities if I'd looked. Note to self - take more photos.....

Even the more mundane things like shopping have become more palatable. Gone is the need to rush at everything at a million miles an hour and there is indeed an experience with every outing. And then Saturday night, a nice pub meal and some great conversation and discussion about the day, the art, and a myriad of other subjects. Did I mention Saturday was a great day.

Maybe it was the fact that Saturday was such a good day that Sunday somehow turned into a rather introspective series of moments where there was a sense of overwhelming fear. You know that thinking sometimes that "it's too good to be true" and you could lose it in the blink of an eye. Now I'm a rational, relatively intelligent human being who can see the ridiculous lack of value in worrying over stuff that may never happen. But when you realise just how fortunate you've become to have a really fantastic opportunity land at your feet, I think it takes a pretty strong secure person who won't at least have the thought flash before their eyes "what if I lose this" and not be affected by the emotion that follows. And then it's tough to fight back all those old bad habits of questioning if you are enough and your own value. Old habits really do die hard. I'm trying to kill them off, but they're like the scary movies - the bad guys always seem to come back to life to have one last go at you before you finally shoot them in the forehead and say "Die Sucker".

But the thing that leaves me with a smile on my face this morning is the knowledge that I am loved unconditionally and that my good and bad days are accepted and treated with respect equally. That despite my own occasionally wayward emotional state, I have my rock and my soft place readily available. And despite the fact that things don't always go the way we think they will, life will always be about making the most of the journey, supporting one another, loving one another, discovering, pursuing our goals and our passions. And I do believe that will be more than enough.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

die ur hair it burns my eyes

11:41 am  

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