Friday, July 25, 2008

Such is life.

What a difference a couple of weeks makes. You might wonder where I've disappeared to since July 13. Almost 2 weeks later and it's like a different life already. So many changes and so many new things to experience and encounter.

Is it tomorrow already? One moment I was celebrating a birthday and the next thing a phone call took me into the next day. Ahh yes another year older and hopefully wiser......

These past couple of weeks have been a blur really. It's as though a new and exciting phase of my life just leapt up from nowhere taking me by surprise. I feel as though life is carrying me on the journey rather than me having the control over where I go right now. I am being transported to places so unexpected and the interesting thing is that I don't feel apprehensive or frightened by any of it. It's as though it's meant to be and I know that wherever this particular journey takes me - it's going to work out for the best.

A completely new friendship has opened my eyes to the wonderful opportunities life has to offer and the realisation that age is never a barrier to anything if you possess the right frame of mind. I am so inspired by his love of life, his passion, his energy, and acheivements in life. In many ways it makes me take stock of how little I have acheived in my own life, but not the wallow in the self pity of my failure to emulate such acheivements, more to inspire me to pursue those dreams I do have while I am able. I never cease to be amazed by the way events change your life and the very core of the way you see the roads to the future. After such a short time of knowing someone, it's incredible to think they can be there for you at such crucial moments when you really need the support, and for that alone Daryl, I thank you.

Sadly the new job has come to an end. In all honesty I don't think I could say I thought it would last beyond the initial 13 week agreement. As much as I am grateful for everything I have gained from this experience - some people are just impossible to work with - this is one of them. Sometimes no amount of money can make it worthwhile to work with someone. When you give 110% and walk away feeling less confident within yourself each and every day, when the lines in the sand constantly change and when there is a sense that you can't win no matter what strategy you employ - sometimes it's better to admit defeat and walk away. It somehow feels right - at least right now. I am grateful for my improved health with the work on my teeth, I am grateful for the introduction to a new and valued friend, but I am also grateful for not having to endure the constant pressure as well..... and so ends another stage of my life.

So my 47th birthday is now relegated to yesterday and I can't continue to be disappointed that it didn't quite turn out as I had hoped in the end. An early morning visit from Shane started the day in a positive way and an unexpected visit from Paul ended up providing an interesting day. A really lovely lunch in Lorne looking out over a very calm ocean, sunshine, conversation and a real sense of closeness and friendship was probably, thankfully, a little over and above the underlying fear and concern for the coming weeks and his forthcoming challenges. I couldn't help on the way down the winding road to Lorne think about how even 2 days ago I would not have been available to be in his company and yet fate yet again has stepped in to pave the way. Sometimes why you feel the way you do about someone fails the tests of logic, you are just there no matter what and it's OK. I can only hope that presence makes enough difference when it's needed.

I was inundated with text messages wishing me a happy day which was a nice surprise and another really nice surprise was some messages I received on my new found source of entertainment - Facebook. Thanks Jordo, Ange & Tegan! Then as if that wasn't enough, I discovered two very beautiful ladies had purchased for me gift vouchers to spend at the Scrap Pile shop. Mel & Jewls - I hope you know that when I finally did check my email very late last night - you literally did bring me to tears. I sat here looking at the screen with tears streaming down my cheeks wondering what the hell I did to deserve such wonderful friends. Thank you so very much for thinking of me. A very late call from Daryl which ran into the wee hours finished off a rather perfect "imperfect" day. I know that he'll be happy when the alarm goes off in a few hours time..... I guess it all just goes to prove that despite the fact things don't always go as you plan or hope - sometimes just going with the flow delivers you with an otherwise perfect day which was the case for July 24th 2008.

Ahhh but now bed calls...... it's late......


Blogger Leah said...

Sorry to hear about your job Maree, although I am with you and think that it's for the best. It sounds like you have made a wonderful new friend as well. Glad you had a fantastic day on your birthday!

9:49 pm  
Blogger Melissa said...

Woohoo.You are most very welcome on your SP voucher My darling friend.You were on my mind all day and wish I could have been there in the flesh to celebrate.Great news about your new friend.I am really happy that he has made a difference in your life.It is always good to have friends...especially ones who care.
I am sorry to hear about your Job although, from our chats, I had wondered if it would last .Big Birthday hugs to you

10:01 pm  
Blogger Rosemary said...

Very late 47th Birthday wishes from the old girl - I am really relieved that you have left THAT job - I don't think I would have endured those 13 weeks, but as you said you have learn't lots and come away with new friends - thats got to be worth something.
Remember Maree - 'TOMORROW IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE' - you go girl!!!!!!!

10:07 am  

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