Saturday, February 02, 2008

200 Posts Old

Is that Blogger for old age????... LOL. Yes folks this is grand post number 200. And I'm sitting here feeling just a little let down that I don't have any profound news to post....

I've had the strangest week this week. As much as I've felt the hurt, I've also felt at times a whole bunch better than I anticipated I would. I'm not sure what it is even though - as I do - I've tried to analyse it. At times I think I am a little clearer on some things and then other times I feel more confused than ever. I had lunch with Shane on Thursday. I'm not sure what he felt he needed to tell me, but it was fascinating conversation. Including how ashamed he was of how it all had ended etc etc etc. But then some things just didn't make a whole bunch of sense and ended up sounding more like what he thought I would want to hear rather than the reality of where we were at. But the one thing that did amuse me was that he actually laughed at things I had to say (that I should add were intended to be laughed at!) four times in the last 20 minutes. And on that fourth occasion I turned to him and asked how many times he had laughed in the past week - and the response was - "4 times and all in the past half an hour......" Yeah... well.

As much as it was difficult I did force myself back into the radio station this week. There were some very painful moments there I can tell you. Too many memories. Too many reminders. But thankfully there were also a whole bunch of loving people who's continuous (and very bloody obvious) impromptu visits left me not only with a smile on my face, but also a tear in my eye, not for what I've lost, but for the knowledge that I am loved in so many ways by so many people. Reminded of your worth to the people in your everyday life, you just can't help but respond in a positive way, and I don't know honestly where I would be without their love and their support. And with the new interest in the radio station over recent weeks, new additions such as Mike who has walked through the door (with all his computer knowledge and sense of humour) no doubt with a firm push from fate.... and the chance of at least 2 new presenters who may come bearing large gifts of music files.... Things actually look promising again.

I did the Breakfast show with Julie & Frank for Thursday and Friday mornings. Jules is such a treasure with a big big heart, and Frank is just the greatest guy who inspires me and makes me think about life and myself with very open and honest eyes. I am so grateful to have these two in my life, especially at the moment. But then isn't that when friendship is really put to the test - when you need it.

An incident in the wee hours of Friday morning after not being able to sleep and going downstairs to make a cup of tea and coming back up to the computer resulted in possibly the best Promo for the Breakfast Show that we've come up with so far since it's inception. As I sat in the darkness pre 4:00 a.m. and scrolled through messages - out of the corner of my eye I caught movement and low and behold there was a HUGE huntsman spider which had crawled out from under the keyboard to rest there not more than 2cm from my right hand.... As you may be aware from reading this blog - I am arachnaphobic..... so the events that followed I am sure will be fairly easy to figure out. But as I relayed the story to Frank later that morning on the show - his response was "He was probably trying to check his WEB mail"..... I haven't laughed so much in a very long while. Mike and I played around a bit with the segment, I've added a woman's scream sound effect and a bit of Skyhooks "Horror Movie". I just need to add some voiceover and it will be done. I'll upload it and place a link here next week so you can hear it. I'm loving it! Actually it's inspired me to go back through some of the programs and see if I can't do the same with some other "memorable moments".

The only other excitement in my life is the knowledge that I now have a rather large snake residing beneath my house. I know I'm craving some new experiences in my life right at the moment, but that really wasn't quite what I had in mind. Mum and I cleaned up the back verandah, moving everything away from the house for a clear view of what is out there, but the confrontation isn't something I'm particularly looking forward to and of course it's a particular worry in regard to the dogs.

So anyway there I am Blogger Age 200. And just to prove that some things never change - my philosophy is still the same. In the very first blog I wrote : "God knows if anyone out there will actually read this. But if you are, and I make you feel even remotely human for a moment.... then this can't be a bad thing............ can it?????????????"

Well all I can say is if you aren't feeling normal by now - I want to know YOUR story, it must be bad!


Blogger Tracey said...

Im so proud of you this week , though its been tough you've proven so much to yourself and others .. NOW WILL I SEE YOU IN LESS THAN 2 WEEKS AT THE AIRPORT ... Im so excitied!

11:42 pm  
Blogger melissa said...

I read too Maree******..Always around even though we haven't connected as much the past week.I am so proud of how you have handled everything and been so strong...but then when I first met you...that was my initial thought.Here is a lovely , strong lady.....Hugs to you Mate.Talk soon

5:51 pm  

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