Sad life really

I'm actually feeling a little sad that my life seems to be in a bit of turmoil at the moment. Blogging has surely suffered. Where I used to post more often, now more likely it's a weekly thing when I get a moment on the weekend. And yet so many things happen throughout the week that I am just simply too tired to document here during the week. Mind you I think there are from time to time some negative thoughts that are probably best left off the documentation of life. Times where one feels like they come 2nd to everything else. Coming 2nd isn't something I'm used to or even able to accept. What can I say - it's the perfectionist streak that strives to be #1 in everything. But sadly there are certain aspects of my life where I know I will always be in second place and for a perfectionist - coming to terms with that sends one to that pond of reality once or twice - swimming with you know what.

Yes I know Allen.... be grateful for the life I have. I'm hearing you. Really I am. But when it's cold, miserable, you're alone and the sharks are circling, it's hard to keep treading water for days on end.