Thursday, February 15, 2007

Life & all that stuff.....

Its weird how you kind of drift through life and then suddenly something happens to give you a wake up call and you realize just how precious life is - and how fragile at the same time. On Monday I called a friend I had been expecting to see earlier in the day only to find out said friend was actually at that moment sitting in the hospital having a heart attack. Quite a shock to the system for a Monday (or any other day for that matter).

You get to thinking about how quickly you could lose the people you care about and never get to say goodbye/I love you/whatever, not to mention at 49 - I'm thinking great, this is just 4 years away for me. This particular incident resulted in a severe warning as much as anything I suppose and although I'm still waiting to hear the final prognosis, I imagine it's going to involve some fairly life changing action (which you WILL follow the instructions to the letter won't you!!!!!!!!!!! yeah right........).

Another friend, Jan, has a partner who has been through a similar fate. We were talking last night on the phone about the short and long term consequences. Earlier in the day I had been talking with one of the guys at the station who's wife is a doctor. He said something about approximately 50% of all heart attack victims DON'T follow the instructions they are given and heed the warning. At first I guess I was pretty shocked but then as Jan & I solved the problems of the world last night, I said to her that I could understand why in a way.

I relate it back to before I had my hip replacement and I was trying to show dogs and just not being able to run because of the pain. It got so bad especially after an incident at the Sydney Royal Easter show where the judge clearly had no idea what she was doing and sent us all running around the ring about 6 times for the Bitch Challenge award and on the almost last run around - something gave, I heard a rather unsightly noise and I thought I was going to pass out with the pain. From that day on I was unable to show - that was March and I had my hip surgery in June.

I think it was about February before I showed again - before I could run again. And I recall all through the 11 months that I was unable to show, feeling such resentment that a thing I loved so much had been taken from me. I mean at the moment I'm not showing, but it's MY choice not to do so, so it's OK with me. But when the choice is taken away from you and you have no control over your life - that's where I think the resentment and rebellion sets in. I think we all like to think we have control over our lives - so having to give up a big part of your lifestyle (even if it's in your own best interest) comes with the cost of losing control. And some people just can't give away the control. So I can understand it in that way.

So much for my few good night's sleep - I'm back to waking early again - this morning I woke at 4:30 a.m. and honestly I'm at that point where I don't fight it now. I wake - and if it's clear I'm not still sleepy I just get up. It's easier than lying there thinking about stuff that drives me crazy. So I just get up and make a cup of tea, come to the computer and hope to god I'll get sleepy again so I can catch even another half hour a bit later.

Yesterday of course was Valentine's Day and I did get a huge lift out of a very sweet text message from a not so secret admirer who couldn't be here but obviously took the time to think of me. I had a 6:00 p.m. meeting, while Lakeisha did her radio show, and then we went for dinner at "Culture". They do a nice Salt & Pepper Calamari. When we got home I was sitting at the computer and I noticed something move out of the corner of my eye - gross it was a HUGE huntsman spider. Suffering arachnophobia as badly as I do - I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Lakeisha came in and whacked it with a magazine (No not a scrapbooking magazine girls, so don't fret) but the rotten thing fell down into the fax machine and dead or not I just can't bring myself to fish the damn thing out of there! Yeah OK so I'm a whoos. I'm not planning on sending any faxes in the near future, so maybe I'll let it dry out a little first LOL.

Today is a busy day with lots of meetings and interviews plus a doctors appointment. And some very exciting news for a couple of weeks time when Lakeisha will be the co-host of the "Otway Idol" contest along side "Carmen" from MixxFM's breakfast show fame. Lakeisha is pretty excited about it and not just a little nervous, but I think it will be a fantastic experience. I almost died laughing last night when the phone rang at 10:30 p.m. and it was Bob Knowles with a promo for Idol to go to air. If you want a laugh you can listen to it here - Otway Idol Promo.

Hmmmmm is that a little snippet of a yawn I'm feeling.... I might wander back to bed - another half hour until 7:00 a.m. would be bliss.

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