Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Retraining.

It's true what they say. You are never too old to learn. Often it isn't the lesson that's difficult to learn. It's putting it in to practice. Knowing what you should do for the best and actually having the strength and the courage (or even a clue as to HOW) to do it are different things. It's astounding that when you look at someone else's situation in life you can see the problems as clear as day and yet from your own perspective things can often look "normal".

For my own situation, I don't know why it is that I don't trust the universe to take care of things. I mean I've seen it in my own life so many times where things just simply work out. That whole fate - things happen as they are meant to - thinking. I've accepted that so many times in my life and noticed it and commented on it. And so why being unable to trust it ALL the time is such a problem for me, I'm not sure. But clearly I don't. Clearly there are times when I try too hard to have something or get something done and it just has the complete opposite effect. The rules are just so tricky. The whole "focus on what you want not what you fear" - I see that as being a key element in life. My problem is that I have a tendancy to elevate the word "focus" to a far more "hands on" approach. I know that. I've known that for a long time. I'm impulsive and passionate and intense. Finding a way to allow that to work FOR me and not against me it would seem is the task of the moment.

Today I had yet another glimpse of how things fall into place if you let them. It's funny but often timing is everything if the lesson is even to be learned. It's going to be a hard road....

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