Thursday, May 10, 2007

Test of Faith

Faith is such a tedious thing sometimes. Faith in those around you can sometimes be such a test of committment and honesty. But having faith in yourself more often is the biggest challenge any human being can face. It involves forgiveness for those less than perfect traits and the bravery to put yourself on the vulnerable path to be assessed & judged & accepted by others. And I can understand the vulnerability and self doubt which leads to the inability to have faith in your own abilities. That very basic human need for acceptance, can drive us crazy with all the self evaluation and analyzing.

It has never ceased to amaze me that sometimes individuals are so oblivious to the fact that they are so special, so talented, that there is little faith required for such acceptance. They strive for the perfection and the acceptance with such an urgency that they miss the point that their very existence lends itself to approval of others, and yet they torture themselves to pursue ever mounting heights of perfection, no matter what the cost to health or relationships.

Someone recently taught me the absolute worth of being. And by that I mean that by just being me, it was enough. And if being me wasn't enough, then those seeking more were the ones missing what I was worth, not me. I now have the faith in myself after so many years of feeling as though I was never enough. I now know that my best is all I need to aim for and that those who love me will be more than happy with that effort. And yet it seems the teacher is not so convinced by their own lessons. If only the acceptance shown already were enough to prove that the faith was justified! One could simply get down to the job at hand instead of questioning why that acceptance was forthcoming in the first place, and seeking ways of embellishing what is already a near perfect performance, and in the process jeopardising so many important things including the love of those dear to them.

I am truly blessed to be loved by such a special person. If only my love in return were enough to have you believe in yourself as much as I believe in you, then life would be so much more simple..... for all of us.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just love catching up on your blog ...!!!
Love and hugs Tracey

11:10 pm  

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