Monday, October 27, 2008

Avoiding the unavoidable.

Sometimes I think there is just no escaping the past. It seems to sneak up on you when you least expect it. As much as there are some experiences you would like to forget existed, despite your best efforts they just lie there.... waiting..... Those memories from the past awakened by even the most minor similarities. Triggered by the faintest reminder. And even though the connection often makes absolutely no sense what so ever - the emotions that follow can be as devastating as the original event.

As much as we would like to bury the past, I suspect many of us experience these recurring waking nightmares. And even though you know in your heart that the reality of the present bares no resemblance to the pain of the past, sometimes it's difficult to separate the emotions. The pain of being betrayed is something that is difficult to set aside. Words spoken can never be taken back. I don't think the wounds ever really heal. Not entirely.

There have been many wounds. I think I do a pretty good job of patching them up. But sometimes they re-open and with it comes the pain of the past. What can you do.... except grit your teeth, bandage them up, and hope in time you heal.

Thank god for faith. Where the hell would we be without hope for the future.


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