Friday, April 10, 2009

She lives....

Yet again poor blog I have deserted you.... And yes Mel - I feel bad. I'm not sure why - whether it's the fact that life seems to be busy, or whether I haven't needed that kind of therapy I can't be sure. Certainly the need for some theraputic talk has not disappeared from my life, but perhaps it's a time for needing a sounding board, someone to reflect my thoughts back from a different perspective than I'm seeing things at present. And while expressing thoughts and feelings is a good thing and being able to look back at what you've written on a blog helps to understand the process of moving through things - sometimes you need to hear a reaction from someone rather than reading more of your own babble.....

Something I've come to appreciate a great deal over the past 4 or 5 years is that it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking the same without thinking about it. We get up in the morning and we do the same things we did yesterday and never really challenge why we do them. What I've come to appreciate over the past 4 or 5 years is that saying "If you want different, do different." I'm guessing thinking comes under that umbrella of thought as well. Think differently. Process the thinking thoughts in a different way and try to see them from a different angle. Sometimes it can be a challenge.

I suspect it's why some people move ahead in life and why the rest just seem to never achieve their goals, hopes and dreams. But for myself I think it's often why I get disappointed or disillusioned with things sometimes. I tend to think on the practical side, look towards the future and try to do things now that will ultimately (hopefully) work towards making things better but also make the now comfortable as well. But that's just me. Some people, I realise, live in the moment with absolutely no thought about tomorrow. And some are simply so obsessed with the future, that they forget about enjoying today, constantly worrying about tomorrow. I guess that makes me middle of the road and sometimes that's a nice place to be but when it doesn't compliment where others are it can sometimes make moving forward a challenge.

The past month has been fraught with emotion and upheaval. Watching someone I love go through pain, physical and/or emotional, is never a pleasant thing for me. Throw into the mix one of the traits I dislike most in people - greed - and you have the recipe for upsetting me a great deal. And so were the days of packing up most of the items Shane has identified his life with throughout the past 30 years, never to be seen again. And while I don't have any problem at all with dividing assets between parties who have separated, I'm astounded at how some people can stoop to all time petty low levels in an effort to get that one last bitch slap in.

Having earmarked, at a guess, around 70% of what was in the house (and that takes into account all of Shanes musical & computer equipment - so there wasn't a whole bunch of anything else left), the day came to come and collect what had been removed to the garage for transport. I'd have to say at this point that I have been enormously proud of how this man has retained a sense of integrity throughout this entire ordeal and was more than fair in his distribution of what went and what stayed. He certainly didn't keep the best for himself in almost all choices. And yet the rape and pillage of the house, which he generously left open so the participants could use the toilet, was absolutely astounding - including if you will, food from the pantry! 7 months absent from the house and she takes food from his pantry? What the? Not to mention a number of items that were actually mine as well. And then when it's all packed ready to go, she leaves him a note telling him how much she still loves him? Yep... as you would. Sweetheart - I've just ripped everything you've ever known for the past 30 years out of your possession - I love you....
Hell it makes sense to you too right?

With that chapter of life closing, I'm certainly eager to move on to a place where life can revolve around making a better life. Pour me a wine - I'll drink to that!

The creative side of me has been a bit blah with a lack of enthusiasm about a lot of things lately. But in those few moments I did get in the mood to do something, I was pretty pleased with what came out of it. I often wish I had more time, or at least felt like I wasn't taking the time from other things, to go and scrap. I suppose it's like everything else, if I'm meant to I will. But anyway, below are the creations of recent weeks. The first is one of a pair of framed pieces from Shane's son's wedding. This one has the invitation and I have another matching frame in which I'll scrap some additional photos, the buttonhole flower Shane wore at the wedding and the gold rings which came with the invitation. I'm thrilled with how this one turned out so I think the pair of them will look really good together.

And the second piece was a Kaisercraft box I decorated for SIL Lyn's 60th Birthday.

Almost feed time at the zoo....


Blogger Melissa said...

I so wish I lived closer Maree, so that we could see each other a bit more .I could be much more of a friend than from where I am right now, all the way up in FAR NORTH.Anyhow, you know that I am there for you to vent your frustrations and triumphs any time of day or night.I am sure that it will all work out, it is just a matter of this all taking its right course.Hard to live with though at the time.Waiting is the worst part.Loving seeing all the gorgeous scrappy candy you ahve been creating lately.I was beginning to think it had all left you.I have always loved and been soooo inspired by your work.Take care and sending loads of Mellie Poo hugs your way.

HAPPY EASTER from all of us up here. xxoo Mel

7:48 pm  
Blogger Leah said...

What an absolutely stunning array of flowers on that gorgoeus box, Maree! I love how you can make all those flowers look like they're in exactly the right place!

11:11 am  
Blogger Leah said...

Oh, and how gorgeous is that frame. I love the colours you've used. Stunning!

11:15 am  

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