Above All They Must Be Merry!

A Happy New Year

2012-01-01T22:40:00.003+11:00

If there was ever a time that makes me sad - it always happens on New Years Eve. I think its because NYE marks the end of the year and to me it feels like leaving behind all the things that the year contained, packing them up and putting them away, knowing you'll never again see them. Some of the things are good, some of them are not so good. I know I should focus on the new beginning the new year promises. But I still can't get past the sadness that leaving some of those events behind represents to me.

2011 was such a mixed year. I lost some things that were important to me, including Shane's mum, scrapbooking, some special doggies, and some ongoing health issues for both Shane and I, but I also gained some things as well. Valuable insight into certain friendships (both positive and negative), greater understanding of people's motivations, a wonderful new member of the family in our beloved dog Kitty and the final realisation of a more than 10 year dream to have a Halloween party and scare the pants off a group of friends.

I'm very happy to have left behind a part of my life that involved some very nasty people. When something is supposed to be supportive, encouraging and caring but is actually more ego motivated than anything else - it ceases to be supportive, encouraging and caring unless you are into ego stroking. I'm not into popularity contests and the sort of school yard antics that went on were so childish. I like to sleep at night and I don't go around bagging people who I call friends. I certainly don't use other people to get where I want to be and I don't use my friends to cover up any weaknesses I have or mistakes I may make to save my own ass. I call you my friend because I like you and because I care about you - not because of what you can do for me, or for how important your friendship makes me feel, or because it makes me more accepted by others. If you don't feel the same way about me - then don't call yourself my friend because friendship works both ways.

And so to 2012 - I know there will be highs and lows, but life is good and I have love, happiness and balance. There are lots of projects already on the planning board and I'm going to revel in the excitement to come.

Happy New Year.

Cotton Wool

2011-07-31T20:20:00.002+10:00

Yes I think that's what I've been wrapped in the past 6 weeks. I think sadly I'm still reeling from recent events but it occurred to me tonight that the impact is too great and the person isn't worthy of the disarray they have caused to my life. After so many years of supporting and encouraging someone - finding you have been virtually cut out of the picture because obviously you aren't part of the "in" crowd is somewhat cutting. Loyalty clearly isn't worth a cracker these days which came as a bit of a surprise to old fashioned me.

So I need to put it all into perspective, understand that clearly my loyalty and support and friendship was extremely misguided and move on. It's been 6 weeks since I've ventured into my scrapbooking room. I'm in there tonight and I have to tell you it feels weird and I had absolutely no scrapbooking incentive, I haven't created a card, I didn't enter this year's Royal Melbourne Show and to be frank I would struggle even to work on Lakeisha's 21st invitations at this point.

I'd really like to thank the instigator of this. I mean in 35 years of showing dogs amongst some of the bitchiest people I've ever had the misfortune of spending time with - nothing quite came up to the disappointment of this and yet I find myself shaking my head as to why I've allowed it to affect me as much as it has. Even right now as I type this I wonder if its worth the 5 minutes of my life to type it. But it did happen and I AM hurt and acknowledgement of the fact seems only right given I've blogged about all the other ugly things in my life.

But in the meantime I've celebrated my 50th birthday, I still have the most adorable daughter in the world and the most enviable partner. We do live with the worlds most annoying dog - but we still love her. And if nothing else over the past 24 hours - I have realised that friendship is only as good as the friendship returned and at the end of the day if the loyalty and support returned counts for ZIP then you haven't really lost a whole bunch in the end anyway.....

The latest creations......

2011-05-04T21:46:00.002+10:00

and without further delay..........

One of the most exciting additions has been ........... Kitty!

Meet Kitty - hopefully aka Merriyank Katharine Hepbark - pending VCA confirmation. Kitty may end up being a showdog, but for the moment she is commanding the attention of all those around her and winning hearts. Primarily she is Shane's dog but I think this special little puppy is going to spread joy wherever she goes. I'm looking forward to sharing more photos with you as she grows.

And then there was scrapbooking............

My very first Challenge Masters Book of Me challenge layout.....

My entry into week 4 of the Chopped Challenges at Challenge Masters.

"She Blooms"

"Not Quite"

A difficult week

2011-05-04T21:35:00.002+10:00

Last Friday we lost a dear friend who meant a lot to me. I've known Ken all my life through our shared interest of dog showing. I can recall so many memories of Ken both as a dog judge and exhibitor. He has always been a gentleman and someone who I respected both personally and as a member of the dog showing fraternity. I think he's one of those "old school" dog people who shared my love and joy of showing dogs for all the right and good reasons. But sadly Ken lost his battle with cancer last week and all I can say is the world is poorer for his passing. And so as we look towards the sadness of his funeral tomorrow, I am trying to focus on the positive and happy moments I remember, of all the wonderful things he has contributed as a husband, father, an exhibitor, judge and breeder of dogs and the warmth I know he must have shared with the people he met throughout his life.

RIP Ken. You will never be forgotten by those who cared deeply.

Kaisercraft Design Team Call

2011-04-22T12:07:00.006+10:00

I was very excited to see this DT Call come up as I've always loved Kaisercraft products and what a bonus that they are very reasonably priced coupled with high quality which for me makes them excellent value. Living just an hour away from the Geelong store means I've had the opportunity to wander through taking in all the amazing products on display many times. You truly don't get a real sense of how immense the range is until you see it all on its own in one store.

I've had the opportunity to contribute to a few DT's before, but nothing like the calibre of this one. I have always loved the challenge to push myself beyond my comfort zone, trying new things and also sharing tips and techniques with others. I believe I have the ability and the dedication to contribute and so the opportunity to be on the Kaisercraft team is something I would love to be part of.

The items I am submitting below are all works which I have completed over approximately the past year, mostly endeavouring to select items which display my use of Kaisercraft products. Anyway - here are my entries and all I can do is hope they are worthy enough of consideration.

My first project is a layout of my daughter when she was just 5 months of age. Entitled "Bloomin' Gorgeous", this layout came about as my entry in the October 2010 Kaisercraft Mix It Up challenge and was the eventual winner of the competition. I used the gorgeous "Candy Lane" collection in this LO.

My second project is another layout entitled "You Me Us". The photo is of my daughter and her dog Bundy who is an Australian Champion Fox Terrier. I've used papers from the "Offshore" collection together with Rhinestones, and some handmade flowers from scraps of paper. I've also used a Prima bird and made the faux gemstones using a fabulous tutorial by Gabrielle Pollacco. This layout won a 1st Prize at the 2010 Royal Melbourne Show.

My third project is an OTP number created for Bec Miller's Altered Challenge at Challenge Masters. The challenge was to take some thing from the kitchen/dining room and alter it. I've had this cookie jar sitting around doing nothing so I thought it was perfect. I've used Kaisercraft English Rose Collection papers, journaling tag, pearls, pearl flourish, wood heart, mini alphas, rhinestones and rhinestone words. I sponged "Pretty Pink" KC paint both inside and out to give it a more dimensional feel and finished off with some hand made bead stems, handmade blooms from the leftover papers, a Prima flower and butterfly, some Stickles and ribbons from my stash. I recycled the material inside the jar which was actually wrapped around some beautiful Gerberas that my gorgeous partner Shane bought me.

My fourth project is another OTP - a mini bookcase. I made this one last year to enter in the Royal Melbourne Show OTP Section where it was awarded 1st prize by judge Lyn Dwyer from Fiskars. There are 6 books, each have a few of my favourite photos of various subjects including holidays, my daughter, my partner Shane, Shane's son, Shane and myself and finally one of me. I've used the "Shaken Not Stirred" range with a few other bits thrown in to make up the albums and a Wood Flourish on the top, as well as some flowers and gems from my stash.

My fifth project is a card using some scraps of the Shaken Not Stirred range.

I love making these suit cards. Here are a couple of photos of others I have made in the past as well.

My sixth project is also a card. Just for something different I made my daughter's boyfriend (who is a bit of a laptop fan) a birthday card with a play on the Hewlett Packard logo. On the inside I altered a photo of him from a trip to Queensland by adding a few computer icons and also printed off a picture of a laptop keyboard adding the personal message to the keys. It was all matted and mounted on a thick sheet of transparency and I added a few brads and a bit of creative pen work to finish it off.

My seventh project is another layout using "Esther's Guest List" paper and lots of cutting & layering. I embossed a Kaisercraft stamp from the "Pina Colada" collection, used Rhinestones and Mini Alphas and included some rubbish bag twist ties as part of the floral cluster as well as some miscellaneous flowers from my stash.

My eighth project is another layout entitled "Flower Girl". Although the papers used in this one are Cosmo Cricket, I have also used a Kaisercraft corner flourish.

And finally I would also like to display a some of my other projects for consideration.

A shabby style layout featuring a Kaisercraft text stamp, "Miss 4" took out BEST IN SHOW at the Royal Melbourne Show (Scrapbooking Section) at in 2010.

This frame is one of a pair created from the actual wedding invitation to Shane's son's wedding held in India. The pair of frames went BEST IN SHOW at the Royal Melbourne Show (Scrapbooking Section) in 2009.

Below are a few of my other favourite creations from the past year.

Thank you for taking the time to look through all of these photos. I'm sure like many many other hopefully scrapbookers around the world, I will be eagerly awaiting the news of the finalists for the Kaisercraft Design Team.

cheers

Maree

Hectic

2011-04-22T09:58:00.002+10:00

Well actually this week has been quite relaxing but it has been a pretty full few weeks into April. I've mostly been enjoying some scrapbooking, but also revelling in the opportunity to spend time with Shane while I've been on leave this past week. With the Easter break it has just been the perfect relaxing time to unwind and enjoy one another's company.

It seems life isn't ready to settle down quite yet though as it looks as though Shane will be facing another surgery, however we'll get through this as we've got through other obstacles and so long as it gives him some relief from the pain his back is giving him right now then it will have been worth it.

I'm hoping to also share my little secret very shortly too..... It is certainly something that has given us a great deal of pleasure and who knows what the future holds.

Getting Chopped

2011-04-07T08:51:00.003+10:00

WOW the Chopped Challenge at Challenge Masters has really brought out some stunning work. You should drop by the website and check out the gallery HERE as there are some really inspirational creations there. And so this week - the final week - the challenge is on to add at least one "ingredient" from EACH of past 3 weeks on your layout.

Week 1:

lime green

circles

paint

Week 2:

yellow

dimensional flowers

scallops

Week 3:

white

cardboard

stitching

Somehow I managed to add all but one on mine.... Not sure if it was good luck or good management but I'm really pleased with how it came up. Despite having so many elements it didn't end up looking cluttered which was worrying me - and how to use cardboard on such an elegant LO was a challenge as well....

I painted the background (which was white cardstock) with Kaiser paints (Pretty Pink, Blossom, Coastal Blue & Yellow) using a sponge, handmade some white dimensional flowers using a silky material and burning the edges using a candle then sewed in some little beads for the centres to hold all the layers together and ran a fine line of stickles around the edges for a bit of glitter. White doily, the circles are made from quilled bits of paper with a little stickles added, stitched flourishes are finished off with liquid pearls, scalloped edges around the outside handcut using the votive candle as a stencil, & finished off with two cardboard hearts that I also inked and added a bit of stickles to soften them a little.

So Very Proud

2011-04-04T20:41:00.004+10:00

To be a Challenge Diva at Challenge Masters! And to introduce my first challenge in the "Book of Me" challenges.......... You can find the challenge HERE

My example is this one....

New creations

2011-03-26T08:45:00.002+11:00

It feels so wonderful to be scrapping again. I just haven't really been in a place to create lately so finding some mojo AND being really pleased with what came out of it has been fantastic. These latest ones have all come out of challenges at Challenge Masters - with so many lovely creative ladies onboard - how could you NOT be inspired to create.

This is my new favourite - entitled How Rude. I've loved this photo of Lakeisha & Bundy taken at our last dog show back in 2007. This one was for week 2 of the Chopped Challenges and I am thrilled with how this came up.

The next one was for week 1 of the Chopped Challenge - a photo that I took last November when Lisa was visiting and we journeyed down to the coast taking in Erskine Falls on the way. The challenge was to include circles, lime green and paint. I am still not happy with the fact that the white paint would not stay white on the green cardstock, but overall I still love the layout.

And finally this one was the hardest of all - more from an emotional point than any technical difficulties. This was one of the most scary moments I have ever had in my life and even years later as I look at the photos I am reminded of just how lucky I am to still have this man in my life.

Progress is still being made on Lakeisha's 21st invitations and also with the Halloween invitations. And of course the big plans for the Halloween Party in October. More on that soon.

The Daily Om

2011-03-25T09:50:00.004+11:00

It's interesting how things come and go in your life. Well lets make that things AND people. I think you get to understand it a little more as you grow older and perhaps the events that happen tend to worry you less the more you understand other people and yourself. Over the years, for various reasons, people have come and gone in my life. The ones who really matter are still there, even if only in my thoughts. But it's still sad when you see people drift off especially if you haven't yet come to a point of understanding in the "why".

A thread on Challenge Masters this week got me to thinking about this blog, about people and about myself and where I am at today even throughout the short journey of my life that has been publicly shared through these pages. It led me to read a few old posts and I came across a quote from "The Daily OM". I used to love the quotes that came from this site and I'm not quite sure why I no longer subscribe to it, but I decided to re-acquaint myself with it. Today's post was about the differences between people and how we surround ourselves with "like-minded" people for harmony and enjoyment, but also about accepting the fact that there are some people in life who simply don't like you and likely never will. I don't think - at least I would certainly hope I don't - judge people for being different. I'm all for embracing difference. I guess the people I have come to like least in life have been those who don't embrace difference and get all bent out of shape because you don't think the way they do.

For the right now in my life, I am pleased to say that there has been an embracing of some really lovely people, both at work and socially, and it's such a wonderful thing to see those friendships evolve and come to a realisation that there are lovely people out there who share your thoughts and views and who you can enjoy a jolly good laugh with. For this, I am totally blessed.

New Challenge

2011-03-24T08:22:00.003+11:00

Well now that I have a moment to post - I'm pretty excited to share that I've been invited to join the Design Diva's at Challenge Masters!!!! Thank you Terri for giving me this opportunity and I'm really looking forward to working with the other lovely talented ladies. My first challenge is due to go up the first Sunday in April. Now to get the photo I have in mind taken and the layout created!!!!!!

More March Photos.

2011-03-12T20:55:00.003+11:00

Including a couple from our trip to Melbourne to audition for the game show "Deal or No Deal" and Shane and I taking a drive in the country, ending up at Lorne, for some photo opportunities.....

Time MARCHes on

2011-03-12T20:17:00.003+11:00

So many stories, so little time. At the forefront of life is the new knowledge that the accident Shane was involved in way back in July 2007 actually resulted in a fractured spine that until about a month ago went undiagnosed. I guess that WOULD explain the escalating pain over the past 4 years amongst other things. So now we are facing a fairly difficult regime of exercise and failing that surgery. It seems it never rains but it pours.

On a brighter note, there are some very good things about having the man at home. Pulling up in the drive and having him waiting on the verandah for a hug and/or to help you carry in whatever you've brought home with you is something I do look forward to every single day. And in all the drama I would hope to honestly say we are OK and we are coping. It's a tough road, our life, but we have each other and that is the thing that gives us both the strength to carry on. I know that somehow we'll manage to make the best of whatever is thrown at us. I love him more now than I ever have, and even though I know the future holds even more challenges, I am not daunted by it or have I for one second second guessed any past decisions.

On a broader scope, I'm saddened by the tragic events in Australia, Christchurch and now as I write the whole Japanese disaster is unfolding. I am so very grateful right now to live where I do. I can't imagine the sheer terror of going through such devastating events as cyclones, earthquakes and tsunamis. I tend to think my only real risk here is fire, and it looks as though that risk is minimised for this year at least. One can only hope the loss of life in Japan is kept to a minimum but when you see the vision on TV it's hard to imagine anyone in its path surviving.

In the meantime, photos, scrapbooking and preparations for the long awaited Halloween party as well as Lakeisha's 21st birthday (which isn't for over a year yet) take up our time and our thoughts. It is good in difficult times to have distractions......

The Photo Update

2011-02-15T18:44:00.004+11:00

Sadly it's big - so much going on at the moment and yet again the poor blog has been neglected.....

One of the highlights of late January was finally getting to see Billy Connolly live. It was as good as I anticipated and you have to marvel at the talent of the man after so many years of doing these live gigs. We spent a wonderful night in Melbourne wandering around Southbank (yet again). Neither of us will ever get sick of that place and or the city.

I've missed so many days on the Shuttercal calendar for my photos. I guess I just got really frustrated with the stupid camera that I gave up in the end. Never buy a Sony Cybershot. It has seriously been the biggest disappointment and even after being replaced by a new camera - similar problems persisted. So I guess that means either the model has some serious issues or Sony Cybershot cameras hate me. Given I'm not usually neurotic I'm opting for the first choice.

But the the gorgeous Shane came to the rescue and bought me a Panasonic Lumix which so far has really impressed me with all the special features and it's general photography ability. So here are some of the recent photos......

More photos to share

2011-01-14T07:21:00.003+11:00

The Photo Calendar continues so I thought I would share the past few days efforts....

The doggies had a bath and Hogan was pretty happy with himself - all smiles... until he had to go back in his pen at the end of the day.

From the outside looking in through our Lounge room window.

A few shots of our garden in the rain.

The gorgeous birds looking not so elegant in the rain.

A gorgeous Hydrangea we bought on our last "Nursery Tour".

And the rain continued.....

A quick trip to Geelong and the opportunity to take a few snaps before a rather nasty storm moved in.

The Bird of Paradise flower at the front of our house in the setting sun's light - it was just glowing.

Even though it's pouring rain - a bird's still gotta eat!

A late night emergency visit from the SES when Mum's roof started to leak. Thankfully it stopped raining long enough for them to tarp the roof.

The photographer in me...

2011-01-09T10:55:00.003+11:00

How much I am loving the photography challenge. I'm sure since I'm back at work tomorrow it will be even more of a challenge to find things to photograph, but then I guess that's part of the challenge - to find new ways of taking photos to make them look interesting. It could be the same old subjects, but it will be a learning experience finding a different way of looking at them. I am really looking forward to looking back on the year with all these wonderful memories and pictures to document it's passing.

These are the photos from the past couple of days.

Another Scrap Jacked Challenge

2011-01-09T10:31:00.004+11:00

This time I've used Bec's lovely layout as my inspiration. I loved this photo from the moment I took it. The scene was so inviting and despite the fairly ordinary and so NOT picnic weather at the time, I could still imagine myself sitting there enjoying the peace & serenity of the moment. So this was a perfect opportunity to use it.

Scrap Jacked January Challenge.

2011-01-06T19:53:00.002+11:00

Thought I would join in the fun at Aussie Scrap Jacked, and so inspired by Mel's layout, here is my layout "The Eve".

Unfortunately the title doesn't stand out quite as much in the photo as it does in real life but I'm really pleased with the way it came up. I think it really makes the tree pop from the page as if it is actually lit up.

Today's photos.

2011-01-05T15:55:00.002+11:00

A visit from Mum with a call to go and see what has taken up residence in her little "glasshouse" armed with a camera led to a brief tour around the garden and into the fernery. Amazing what you can find to take photos of when you are actually looking.

Lots of work.

2011-01-05T08:53:00.003+11:00

Yes there has been a lot going on around here over the past week. We've started working on a revamp of the "pond" at the front of the house. When it was originally built, it was meant to be simply something to drain the water from the driveway in heavy rain, and was lined with just some weedmat to allow the water to drain away. But Shane and I being lovers of water, fish, plants etc, decided we would actually like a pond there all year round. So there is a bit of work to do taking it all apart and rebuilding, including digging it a little deeper, replacing the weedmat with something waterproof, and finishing it off - but so far so good.

We've also had a visitor this week, Shane's brother John who came to supervise the rebuilding of the front verandah. It had started to rot through (being that it's all of 20 years old and faces south so gets all the weather). The new verandah is now almost done, at least the frame & decking is done, and we just need to work out what we will put around the edge to finish it off without blocking too much light from the inside of the house, and hopefully protect it a little more this time around.

The photo calendar continues and so far so good.....

It's a pity this little guy didn't visit a couple of days later - he could have been a great subject to include in the calendar challenge. Shane managed to snap these pictures before he buried himself in the dirt.

And here are some photos of the gift I made for Shane for Christmas.

Back to something creative.....

Happy 2011

2011-01-01T19:50:00.003+11:00

LOL and already I am having issues with the year. My title started off at Happy 2001... oops... being back at work should be interesting.

Well the New Year started in the nicest possible way - snuggled up with my gorgeous man on the couch watching a movie. There is nowhere else I would rather be.

Today I signed up - well actually WE signed up - for a bit of a photography challenge. It's one designed to take a photo every day for the next year and post it on a website. Mine will be at http://shuttercal.com/calendar/Merriyank/ and Shane's at http://shuttercal.com/calendar/grumpo/ In all honesty I doubt I'll manage to do a photo a day - but if nothing else it will prompt me to take more photos of daily life and hopefully get me into the habit of reaching for the camera more often.

Some won't make it to the website, so I thought I would upload the rest here. Heck even more blogging will be an offshoot.

Goodbye 2010

2010-12-31T18:55:00.004+11:00

I'd have to say that this year really isn't one I'm too sentimental about saying goodbye to. It's been a rough one. Losing Dad was without doubt the most painful part of the year and in fact probably the most painful experience of my life. Nothing prepares you for the loss of a parent that you love. There is a kind of weird emptiness and immense sadness. And at times when I least expect it he pops into my mind and then leaves again without so much as a word.

But the year has been an interesting journey.

January was dominated by the news that the house we were living in had been put back on the market. As I look back on it now it was a blessing in disguise, but at the time it was a huge disappointment as we loved the house at Forrest and it had represented such an important part of Shane's growth. But there were a couple of weekends with friends and family that brought us joy.

February brought good news after another hospital stint that Shane's biopsy did not contain any cancer - a huge relief to both of us after preparing for the worst. My work went from full time to part time and although at the time it seemed like that was a daunting situation to be in, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise as well.

March's highlight was an incredible trip to Sydney to celebrate Shane's birthday, that in many ways changed both our lives for the better, giving us focus and heightened hopes for the future. Shane and I also did the public broadcast for the local Kana Festival parade - a lot of fun.

April saw the strengthening of our relationship, for me cementing what I already knew. A realization of just how much this man means to me and how lucky I am to be supported in so many ways. I started scrapbooking again with renewed vigour and inspiration and truly felt as though life was on track. Lakeisha turned 19 and we celebrated with an overnight stay in Melbourne.

May included a celebration of my mum's birthday at the Hogs Breath Cafe with Helen & John joining us for a fun night out.

June, Shane and I moved back into the Barongarook house and started yet another chapter in our lives. We also came to the conclusion that we never want to move house again. Man what a job it is.

July included a special surprise birthday gathering for me, once again at Hogs Breath Cafe, with Rhonda & David joining us for a really fun night. We also ended up with 2 free tickets to the football in Melbourne and booked a holiday to Cairns for 2011.

August found us finally settled in the new house although a bit waterlogged from all the rain we had.

September and off to the Royal Melbourne Show again, winning Best in Show in the Scrapbooking for the 2nd year. I finished up my stint working in the Planning Department - a move that was definitely good for my soul, and had a bit of a break with 10 days off to spend at home. We also managed to purchase tickets to see Billy Conolly - something I have wanted to do for many many years.

October was when I discovered a new hairdresser and a new look. But the month brought more changes to our lives when Shane was retrenched from his job and I started a new one.

November was the month we lost my darling Dad. We had a visit from Lisa-Marie who's presence was a welcome distraction from the sadness of the time and enjoyed a roadtrip to the coast for some photo taking.

December and my long time favourite time of the year - Christmas. Two lots of Christmas parties, a pre-Christmas afternoon with the girls at work and a very quiet Christmas day which could have been quite depressing but was as usual made very special by Shane. We got engaged! The perfect way to finish off a year of highs and lows.

So bring on 2011 - and we are going to give it our best shot at being the best year yet.

What a Christmas.

2010-12-29T20:33:00.003+11:00

It's amazing how life throws you curve balls when you least expect it. I think this year I was expecting a pretty subdued Christmas. I hoped in a way to just get through it. To say that 2010 has been a year of mixed emotions would be such an understatement. In the past few weeks I've just been going through the motions and not really "with it". However a certain man had other ideas and managed to turn the day into something incredibly special for everyone.

And so I am very proud to say that I am now engaged to the wonderful Shane Powell and I couldn't be happier. I am never ceased to be amazed at the incredible things he does for our family and my life is just so enriched by his presence.

Here are a few photos from our Christmas Day.

All done

2010-12-22T20:48:00.002+11:00

We had a huge day today shopping in Geelong for the last few gifts we needed but thankfully now the shopping is done and we can settle down and look forward to the big day.

At the moment though there are so many mixed emotions. While wrapping all the gifts tonight I opened the box that contained all the ribbon I use each year to make them all look pretty only to come across some of the hand made tags I had kept from last year, one in particular which was written out to Dad for one of his gifts. It hit me harder than I had anticipated and that took me a little by surprise. It's not that I don't still think of him every single day anyway, but the thought of him not being there for something as important as Christmas is really still not quite making a lot of sense. I know I'm not the only one going through this, but it's a first for me and I can't say it's a whole lot of fun right now.

As much as it is painful, life goes on and we will make the most of the day. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone open their gifts and hope they get as much pleasure from them as I have had in selecting & wrapping them. But no matter what the day holds, there will be one thing missing that we can never replace.... Wishing you were with us Dad.

Project #2

2010-12-07T23:37:00.005+11:00

Project Number 2 for Five Free Things - and I have to say I'm absolutely thrilled with how this mini album came up and I was pretty sure the recipient was going to really like it - and she did! The lovely Jodes and her beautiful wedding photos made this project pretty easy actually.

Here are some photos

Ebay

2010-12-05T22:17:00.002+11:00

How cool is Ebay.... really. I don't think there is anything you can't find on that site. Today Shane and I headed down to Melbourne to do a big sweep and pick up a few items I had won recently. There are items for the BBQ area, items to add to the Halloween collection and one particular young lady who will no doubt be the cause of much frustration and challenge, but who I hope will be my next creative love......... Meet Scrapjolina....

Five Free Things

2010-12-04T20:50:00.003+11:00

Nothing like leaving things until the last minute, but going back several months ago I signed up to give away five free things to whoever agreed to pay the gift forward. I had until the end of 2010 to complete my gifts and well what can I say - it's December so I thought I should get cracking on that.

I won't post the final versions of my gifts until the recipients actually receive them, but here is a sneak preview of Gift number 1. I made the flowers myself using the lovely Gabrielle Pollacco's Water Distressed Bloom Tutorial. Try it out for yourself - they make gorgeous flowers that look as good as any store-bought cardstock flower.

Road Trip

2010-11-29T03:24:00.008+11:00

It's been a pleasant end to an otherwise tedious and difficult week. On Friday, knowing I would be inclined to stay home and do what the funeral director suggested (have a doona day) I had made an appointment to get my hair cut. So we headed off to Geelong, and hair done we had a lovely long lunch at a waterfront restaurant, did a little shopping and visited Lakeisha before heading back home. On Saturday we made our way down to Lorne, a bit of a hike to Erskine Falls, a coffee, Fish & Chips on the beach and lots of photos.

Giveaway

2010-11-26T22:10:00.004+11:00

Who doesn't love a party, especially when it includes a gift!!! To help Janet celebrate Scrapville's very first birthday they are going to give away the entire Echo Park Wintertime Collection!

So who's up for the challenge? All you have to do is become a follower on the Scrapville blog and leave a message to say "Happy Birthday" to Janet and Scrapville then spread the word by posting it on your own blog or facebook or twitter, email friends etc.

The worst day

2010-11-25T22:08:00.002+11:00

I think today ranks up there with the worst day I can remember for so many reasons.

We lost our dear dad on Sunday. He was just 7 weeks short of his 87th Birthday.

Today was his funeral. I can't even begin to describe this day and I'm not even sure I want to. Although if there is anything positive to find in all this sadness, it's that even after being out of the public eye for many years, it was so nice to see so many people who remembered him and came up to say how he had touched their lives. And the incredible eulogy written and delivered by Shane was such a touching part of the service.

I'm pretty sure we did Dad proud and I am certainly proud of my gorgeous man and loving daughter for whom I give thanks every single day of my life.

RIP Dad. We love you always.

A tough week

2010-11-18T22:12:00.002+11:00

It has been a very tough week so far and I will be very glad to see the tail end of this one. My Dad suffered a heart attack on Monday. He's stable, but you just know in your heart that this can lead to no good for him. With already little quality of life, this can only make him weaker. It's such a sad thing to watch anyone close to you get old, and sometimes old age can be just the cruellest thing.

Sitting in the emergency room with him was just the most surreal experience and not in such a good way. If it hadn't been such a worrying time, the sight of the middle aged female doctor attending dressed in a leopard print top that barely made it around her ample proportions, coupled with the short "Best & Less" denim skirt and high cork heeled shoes, complete with "bed hair" would have been funny enough to point and laugh.

The giving and taking of Joy.

2010-11-12T10:31:00.003+11:00

For us - life revolves around what brings us joy. We have made a conscious effort to focus on the things we love and try to set aside the things and people which take us in the opposite direction of what brings us joy.

I know that for both Shane and I, this is very much a trigger response from our past lives and the experience of having your joy taken away or sabotaged constantly. These days we embrace the notion that you own your happiness and pursue it with vigour rather than being content to be unhappy and allow others to sap the happiness from your life. It's one of the things we are very conscious of with each other, valuing those things that bring both ourselves joy and and also highly respecting that which brings our partner great joy.

So I suppose it's not unreasonable to admit that when I see it happen with other people too, I get somewhat defensive. I don't understand why people are so thoughtless at times. Criticism has it's place in the world as long as it's constructive, but condemning others just because they have a different preference or view is just uncalled for especially in a public space. Making others feel bad for their choices isn't the right of any individual in my book. We are all entitled to our opinions but it's in such poor character to judge anyone simply because theirs differs from yours. Through difference we grow and those who refuse to embrace this are the poorer for it.

And so recently I have seen another side to a few people which has been disappointing. It's interesting how you may have never met someone but know that you really never care to just from what they have written.

The new project

2010-11-07T17:18:00.003+11:00

I'm very excited about our latest project and plans. Turning this place into a home finally after many years has proven rewarding. It never ceases to amaze me how Shane and I have similar taste in things but even just making these plans brings out those similarities out where I can easily visualise what he sees for the final result and I believe he for me as well.

The plan is for an entertaining area essentially, but moreover both of us want to see this as a place to relax and enjoy and recharge. What we are starting with is a carport between two sheds. In our first days of living here it was used for a run for the show dogs - an undercover area which kept them dry when they were groomed for a show and a spot for the house dogs to spend time outdoors. It's been neglected now for a long time with no dogs to occupy it. I just thought it would be an ideal spot to renovate and become a real asset to both the property and our lives.

And so I thought some before and after photos as well as the progress was a necessity (I guess that's the scrapbooker in me). I also hope it will be a part of my vision to have something special to view from every window in the house. I think it's a long term project so I'll

update it when there is something to update.

Welcome November

2010-11-02T19:53:00.003+11:00

And it's hoped that November is kinder than the end of October. Unfortunately Shane was made redundant in his job which has been one of those "expected shocks" that come your way sometimes in life. While we knew the company couldn't continue in the downward spiral financially that it has been, its still a shock when the official word comes through that you no longer have a job. And so the job hunting begins.

As usual this beautiful man has made me proud by the way in which he handled the situation. With such class. He never ceases to amaze me. I believe there are few men I have met who would deal with most situations the way he does. I am so very proud of him and I know that he deserves so much in life that there must be something really special for him just around the corner.

This past week has brought with it some fairly eye opening moments where we learned things about the people in our lives. Some of them were things we probably would rather not know. It just serves to remind me of how truly affected we all are by our past lives. No-one escapes. And often knowing what others have to deal with in their lives make our own existence seem far less troubled. But so much of it makes me sad knowing the unhappiness and tragedy of life. The power struggles, the control, the hurt, the manipulation. Watching people pretend to be what they are not, put up with crap they don't deserve, and being controlled by partners who do nothing but put them down. I may have 4 failed marriages behind me but at least now I'm being true to myself and not living my life in a relationship I detest.

Where on earth?

2010-10-23T19:39:00.004+11:00

Where on earth do the weeks go? Another two weeks of my life slipped by......

I started my new job on the 12th of this month and so far so good, it looks as though it will be interesting and challenging. There is a big backlog of work to get through and until I can get that under control, it's probably going to be a bit frustrating. But I think once there are some systems in place, it will be a great opportunity to get involved in some things that I haven't done before and unleash a bit of creativity. That's the plan anyway.

On the not so nice front, Shane's company has just been merged with a larger firm that is based in WA. At this point we have no idea whether he has a job or not which is very stressful for him in particular. I realised probably more than ever this year, that as you .... well I was going to say get older - but lets go with "mature" - security becomes even more important to you. I felt the same with the uncertainty of my employment - hence the move to the new job. And I think it's even worse for men. That whole "hunter/gatherer" thing. It's especially difficult and dis-empowering when through no fault of your own you find you may be out of a job just because someone else couldn't balance the books. But we have a strong foundation and enormous faith in one another and I know that whatever life throws at us, we will stand strong and support one another. In any other relationship right now I would have been a nervous wreck - but for this one I know above all else - we'll be OK.

I have managed to get a bit of scrapping done these past couple of weeks - here is one I did for the Kaisercraft October "Mix It Up" Newsletter challenge entitled "Bloomin' Gorgeous".

And this one for Lisa Pate's Bower Bird Challenge at Scrap Therapy entitled "Get Arty".

Happy Saturday....

Surprise!

2010-10-07T22:05:00.002+11:00

What a thrill tonight has been. Just on the spur of the moment I booked a ticket for the lovely Lisa to come and visit with us for a few days next month. I love her strength and her personality and it will be so great to catch up again. I hope she will enjoy her mini break.

I thought I would post the photo I took of the "new do". I just wish I could figure out what the heck the lovely Darren did to make it look so much better when he styled it. But then I suppose that's what makes him such a great hairdresser........

It's been a sensational week of holidays and even though I'm sad that only 3 days remain - I have had such a great time and feel such a sense of achievement with all I managed to get done. Life is good.

Holidays!!!!!

2010-10-02T08:06:00.003+10:00

I have been looking forward to this break so much. And now I am officially on holidays for 10 days and plan to make the most of it. The first day was really enjoyable with Lakeisha and I heading off to Melbourne to do some shopping (lots of bargains to be had!!!!), pick up my entries from the Royal Show and then back to Geelong where I had an appointment with a new hairdresser for what promised to be a whole new look.

Well it's a whole new look and I'll work on taking some photos some time this weekend. Really happy with it and what an amazing professional experience it was. Highly recommended - www.darrengrayson.com.au

On the agenda of things to do will be take photos of the pieces from the show, amongst the many other things I hope to get done during my days at home.

A week of changes.

2010-09-28T09:15:00.005+10:00

It's amazing how sometimes life just floats along and other times it seems to rush past like a fast train, and always you just need to remind yourself to go with the flow. This past few months have gone by in a blur and having spent 6 weeks with the flu bug that has been going around hasn't made all of that time terribly pleasant. Hopefully in my 7th week I can finally say it's on the way out!

This Thursday I finish my stint in the Planning Department at work after 15 months in the role. I have mixed feelings about it but at the end of the day I realise it's a great opportunity to move on to a position that will be my own to develop and mould. I start the new job on October 12 and am very much looking forward to having a bit of a break in between. HOPEFULLY there will be time to scrap but also I want to do a few things around the house that I haven't felt up to these past couple of months.

Thanks to the wonderful ladies at Scrap Therapy and the September Cyber Crop - I have done another layout which I am very pleased with. Special thanks to Lisa Pate's Sketch Challenge which was the inspiration for this one. Entitled "Flower Girl" - these photos of Lakeisha were taken when we were still living in Melbourne and the outfit she was wearing was one of my favourites of her "baby" clothes. And those pigtails - OMG how cute was she!

This one made me realise I need to start scrapping some older photos again.

And now it's almost October.....

2010-09-25T21:14:00.004+10:00

I think I should just start again and forget the months I've missed. I can scarcely believe the weeks have flown past so fast. I'm into my 6th week of suffering a nasty flu virus which has been really impacting every aspect of our lives. I have a new job which I'm starting on October 12. A part of me is sad to leave the job I've been doing for the past year, but a part of me knows that it's such a good thing that I am leaving it - for some of the very negative aspects of it have really been difficult to cope with.

Shane and I are very much looking forward to a couple of things in the coming months. Aside from Christmas - we are really looking forward to January when we have tickets to go see Billy Connolly. I have wanted to see him for many years now so this will be a fantastic night I'm sure. Plus we have booked a trip to Cairns in May next year too. The start of many trips we hope to take over the coming years.

On a more current subject - today we spent a fantastic family day at the Royal Melbourne Show. A big part of the outing was to go and see the entries I had put in the Scrapbooking section. I was fortunate to do very well again this year following up on last year's exciting results and winning another Best in Show. Of the four classes on offer this year, I entered 6 pieces taking 3 first, 2 second together with Best in Show. One of the highlights for me was the opportunity to meet the lovely Lyn Dwyer from Fiskars who was the judge this year. Here are some photos from the day......

This piece won the Off The Page section....

This piece didn't place

It was a thrill to meet Lyn Dwyer from Fiskars who was the judge for the Scrapbooking section of the show.

This was the piece that won Best in Show

This double layout took out Second Prize in the Holiday double layout section

This piece won the Scrapbooking Pets section

This photo I took of Shane on the way back to Southern Cross station to get the train home.

We stopped off at Starbucks for a hot chocolate while waiting for the train home and Shane thought he would try on the spooky clown mask I bought at the show to add to my Halloween collection.....

And then it was August....

2010-08-02T21:26:00.005+10:00

Really now - is this a conspiracy? Is someone or something pirating the weeks away? Or is it really as my mother said all those years ago - the older you get the faster time flies. I thought time was only supposed to fly when you were having fun! OK well maybe it does. Because there has been lots of fun amongst the weeks that have gone by since my last post, but someone told me the other day its only about 20 weeks until Christmas..... Now that's just crazy!

My gorgeous man put such effort into making my birthday a very special occasion. I am so blessed to have him in my life. There are so many amazing things that he does that make me smile every single day and I will never take it for granted. As a surprise the lovely Rhonda and David joined Shane, Lakeisha, Justin, Mum and I for dinner at the Hogs Breath Cafe which has really become a bit of a favourite place to eat when we've been in Geelong lately. I scored some really lovely gifts including flowers, chocolates, perfume, a new watch, some additions to my weird & wonderful spooky Halloween collection (thank you Justin) and I got spoiled rotten all weekend.

There are so many things that have been happening over the past few months. I wouldn't know where to start. But life is good and we are happy. I guess at the end of the day that's all that matters.

Lucky

2010-06-18T19:07:00.004+10:00

Car accidents are never a nice thing, and the very best you can hope for is that those people involved are OK. And so I am very relieved that Shane and Lakeisha are both OK after the nasty altercation with a kangaroo on the way home last night. The car on the other hand isn't looking so flash unfortunately. Hopefully it can be repaired as quickly as possible and thankfully it was insured.

On the up side, it was lovely to spend the night with Lakeisha, talking and watching a movie, it's been a while and I am looking forward to spending a bit more time with her during her break. I will be glad to have the whole "moving process" at an end so we can make some plans that involve something other than unpacking boxes.

And scrapbooking - it seems like such a long time since I've created anything - and that "clock" sits waiting patiently for some more progress.

Patience.........

And it's been a while...

2010-06-13T22:19:00.003+10:00

WOW I knew it had been a while since I had blogged but I had no idea it was quite that long. And so much has transpired in those weeks it makes my head spin. Shane and I have moved into the house at Barongarook. There are things I really love about this house and things I will miss about the house at Forrest. But it's important to look to the future and not dwell on the past and I think this will be a really positive move for both of us. There are no absolute plans about staying or leaving here at this stage but I think it will be a good opportunity for us both to work towards the things we want for the future without having to worry about where our home base will be.

I'm not sure Hogan is thrilled with his new location since he no longer has the luxury of sitting in his pen staring at me through the window. But the four legged kids seem to have settled in just fine and are happy enough in their new home.

The experience has reaffirmed my intense dislike of moving house. I will never understand why people readily do this on a regular basis. I really struggle with the disruption and disorganisation of daily life. However I'm really pleased with how our new home is coming along - allbeit a fairly slow process. My sleepless nights are slowly starting to abate. And there is a warmth to this house that, for me, has been present since the first day I stepped through the door to inspect it.

This morning I was awake before dawn and was sitting at the computer as the light revealed the yard below me. Unlike many mornings I remember here, there were no Kangaroos grazing on the back lawn, and it was an unimpressive sunrise to start the day, but I was reminded of so many other mornings where the view from the window revealed some eye catching events.

But it's very different this time. The family dynamics have changed to such an enormous degree. My life is so very different from the past lives that have been endured here. And while I miss my gorgeous daughter more than I can express with any words that come to mind, life is so incredibly different and overwhelming and warm and loving and encouraging and understanding and supportive that it's hard to even recall at times what those other past lives were truly like. And I don't understand why anyone would choose to live a life that was anything less than this one (including me).

Old Fence Tutorial.

2010-04-26T12:16:00.005+10:00

I love these little fences. They are a tiny bit fiddly to make, but heaps of fun and look really effective wherever you use them. I’ve used them on cards and layouts. Your material should be a medium weight chipboard, something thin enough that you can cut with scissors but thick enough that it’s rigid. Cardstock is too thin and will curl if you are using crackle medium for your finish.

Measure the desired length of your fence. In this case I am making fences 25 cm long. For each section of fence, cut 2 strips x 1cm wide and the length of your fence – in my case 2 x 1cm x 25 cm. Decide how high your fence needs to be for your project. Mine are 10cm high. The pickets are 1cm wide and there will be a 1cm gap between each picket so you only need half as many pickets as the length of your fence. ie 25 cm fence = 12 pickets.

I snipped the tops of each picket so there was a spike on the top, but you can make them any shape you want – square, rounded, or some other fancy way depending on how much work you want to do to them. Then I use fast drying craft glue to attach the pickets to the rails, and place it on my cutting mat as I go, as a guide to get the pickets and rails straight and evenly spaced.

Put enough glue to hold well and make sure the pickets are well attached. There is your raw fence.

I should mention at this time, if you are not using a crackle medium, you need to be careful about the glue you use. Whatever you do use, remember that if you get glue on the area you plan to paint, it will likely discolour the paint and you may find yourself doing a number of coats to get an even finish. If you are using crackle medium like I did, then it isn’t going to matter as you will be painting over it anyway.

The other option would be to attach your pickets with small brads which can also look effective, like large nails, as seen below.

Next paint the base coat for the fence. Deciding what colours you will use will largely depend on the colours in your project. For me – a brown or black background with a white/cream coating probably looks best, but whatever works for you.

I have used the same “Raw Umber” paint that was my base coat on the clock this is going on so I have consistency in colours. Make sure you give a good even coat and pay attention to corners and the sides of the pickets and rails as you want good paint cover all over and won’t want to be touching it up once the crackle medium goes on. Allow the paint to dry completely. Whether you do a second coat largely depends on how porous your chipboard is. If you do a second coat, you can apply it once the first coat is touch dry. Just make sure that the last coat you do is allowed to dry completely.

I’m using Jo Sonjas Crackle Medium. I have tried others but dislike 2 things mainly. 1. The size of the bottle, and 2. The fact that they dry up so quickly in the bottle even with the cap firmly screwed on.

With this product you need to spread it rather than paint it on. Working in small areas at a time, put a good coverage of drops and push the liquid around until it covers the area you want to be cracked. As with most of these products, the thicker you apply it, the larger the cracks. No particular way is right, and for me, the variance in the size of the cracks just adds to the unique look so I don’t fuss too much about an even coverage.

As can be seen from the photo below, the medium starts to dry quickly and is tacky within a couple of minutes, so ensure you work only a small area at a time and that you don’t try to reapply to any area of your project as you will not be able to blend the medium evenly over partly dried areas.

As the medium starts to dry you will see the cracks appearing (see photo below) and it’s likely that your fence will start to curl up a bit. Unless it’s really at risk of folding over on itself don’t worry about trying to flatten it out. This will be where the importance of using a heavy material will become apparent. The thicker the card, the less it will curl.

The photo above shows the Crackle coat after just a couple of hours. However it still has a milky appearance until it is completely dry. DO NOT TRY TO HURRY THE DRYING PROCESS by using a heating tool. You need to allow it to dry naturally.

Once the crackle medium is completely dry, you can flatten out the piece by gently flexing it back into shape. You will hear some cracking as the coating gives way, don’t worry about that. Just work gently to flex the piece flat.

Now it’s time to apply your top coat. You will need to do this carefully otherwise the top coat will fill in the cracks and you will lose the effect.

I’m using Kaiser’s White paint over the top and I will only use one coat so it has that weathered, see through effect. I use a very small brush and only a little bit of paint at a time – dab your brush in the paint and then wipe off most of it. Use very light feathery strokes over the top of the crackle. You will see how little you need after the first few strokes of the brush. Work in one direction only and slowly. I work on the facing area first, allow that to dry and then touch up the edges.

You can see in the photo above where I’ve had too much paint on the brush and it has filled in some of the cracks.

And here is my finished fence!

My new project.

2010-04-14T11:03:00.002+10:00

Anyone who has been to visit our home over the past few weeks (read months) will attest to the fact that there has been a clock sitting there for quite a long period of time now. I can't remember when I bought it, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I have been walking past it, looking at it, and waiting for some inspiration to hit me as to what to do with it. The sheer size of the thing was a little daunting to begin with given it's about 60cm wide. Not your average scrapbooking project.

But then the other night as I was lying awake at about 3:00 am (as happens from time to time) I had a picture idea pop into my mind and I really liked the idea. It is still a vivid picture in my mind and so I've started the process. As is usually the case though - the picture in my mind rarely ends up being the finished product as the project has a way of developing a mind of it's own and taking itself where it's meant to be, not always where I expect it to be. I guess that's called art and the moment you try to steer it, it seems to lose a great deal in it's appeal.

And so as Clock and I commence our journey together, I thought it would be an interesting idea to share it with you too, through photos of the process. None of us really know how this journey will end and for me that's the exciting part. I've created a "slide" show which will be permanently in the right hand column of this blog to show the progress Clock and I are making. I hope you enjoy our journey too.

A little bit of fun....

2010-04-09T08:44:00.002+10:00

Found this on Facebook - Avatarize yourself. So here is Shane and myself as Avatars. A bit scary if you ask me, but a bit of fun none the less...

Over emotional (or Hormonal Sunday...)

2010-04-04T18:09:00.002+10:00

I'm not sure where it came from, but a rush of emotion today has me a little perplexed. Although I must admit, over the past few weeks there have been so many thoughts and emotions running through my head, I have been having trouble keeping up or making much sense of most of them.

Something happened when we were in Sydney. I'm not quite sure exactly what it was, but whatever it was, it hit both of us so I know it's not just me. Ever since I left Melbourne way back about 15 years ago, I must admit there have been parts of the city I have missed. There have been parts of it I haven't missed either. But I guess there have been other parts of it I have fallen in love with as my life and priorities have changed. I know that we've both fantasised about what it would be like moving back to the city - Shane has always been a "bright lights boy" and in some ways I think it's been calling him for a long while. For me I think I could be happy anywhere so long as he was by my side. But certainly lately I have been feeling very emotional and lost and feeling like I'm not doing what it is I am meant to be doing with my life.

Both of us came back from that trip very unsettled and with a number of ideas about how we wanted to make some changes. I'm still not sure what it is I want to do and in many ways I know that is holding me back from pursuing the future. I know I want to move forward but I have no idea in what direction. It's very frustrating. But it's even more frustrating to continue living a life that is unfulfilled creatively. My frustration is in my work and the fact that I am essentially walking a balance beam. I have no permanent job, just doing a job that right at the moment someone else chooses not to do but who could at any given moment change their mind. But I guess it's even more than that if I am honest. While I enjoy it, I'm not really getting the satisfaction I know you CAN have from your work. Like say the enjoyment I got during my days at the radio station. I really do long to have a job that I feel that way about again, the feeling that even though your alarm is going off at 4:30 in the morning and the work is challenging and unknown - that you love every moment of it.

On the other side, I know that there are big changes coming. There are a number of factors that I see pushing us into the next phase of our lives. I still can't see the direction... but I know it's coming. As much as I want to embrace it because I know in my heart it's going to be a good transition to better things, I can't help but be afraid and a little sad all at the same time. We know that, given the house we are living in has been placed on the market, we want to move once the lease is up in July. We know that there will be decisions made over the next couple of months that will influence my work scenario. Almost everything at the moment points to the month of June and it's as tangible within my heart as tickets to a concert or the words printed in your daily newspaper. Trouble is, I can't read the act or the story.

Today I visited the Scrap Therapy site and one of the threads was in conjunction with this month's "theme" of "Change". The question asked was "Have there been any significant changes in your life and how has it affected you". My life over the past 3 years has been full of significant changes and I can honestly say that right now in my personal life I have never been happier, but even though I wanted to write about them, I felt the tears well in my eyes thinking about the changes to come that are likely to make the last 3 years look like they were routine. And for the life of me - I can't explain why.

I do know that I will be OK as I have always felt that with Shane by my side I can do anything. He is my rock and he gives me the courage to stretch my wings and fly higher than I can ever dream of doing by myself. It's amazing the difference having a partner who is supportive in every way possible, can make to your life in every aspect. I guess it's just that fear of the unknown, knowing change is coming but not having a clue what/where/how, and that "not being in control" feeling (which I have worked so hard to let go of and embrace the concept that sometimes you simply can't control things) that strikes a little fear in my heart.

The final instalment.

2010-03-25T22:52:00.003+11:00

Our last day in Sydney certainly wasn't wasted. We were determined to get to Bondi Beach before we headed home. It was a fairly quick trip, but well worth the effort. Here are the photos from Bondi.

And it was Good-Bye Sydney!

And that folks - was the best holiday I've ever had!

And then there was Monday!

2010-03-25T22:01:00.003+11:00

Day 4 included a visit to the Powerhouse Museum and a stroll around the Chinese Gardens of Friendship. Both provided a significant amount of photographic opportunities....

Of course Monday was a very special day as it was Shane's Birthday and so we had to celebrate it in style. We had such a fun day and finished off with a very late night - a Thai dinner at Darling Harbour, a very long walk, lots of laughs and a bit of fun at Star City Casino.

Day 3 in Sydney.

2010-03-25T21:27:00.002+11:00

Of course Day 3 was Sunday and there are certain traditions to be upheld. So our day started with Pancakes - for me it was Apple and Cinnamon Buttermilk Pancakes. And they were pretty darn good although I think in the photo it looks like they were served with chips at a glance. Those "chips" were big chunks of cooked apple and it all went down a treat!

Then it was off for another cruise - this time on the Manly Ferry to check out Manly Beach. Eff managed to make some new friends in a couple of Manly Lifesavers who kindly assisted in some photography and we came away with these photos of the outing.

We finished up Day 3 with a sunset Cruise on the Harbour, dinner at Circular Quay and a walk around the Opera House before heading back for the night.

And that was day 3....

The holiday continued....

2010-03-25T18:21:00.002+11:00

Day 2 and we had a fantastic time on Saturday. We started off with a tasty breakfast at the Hyde Park Cafe.

and then it was off to wander through Hyde Park itself. I was really happy with the photos I took and got some good shots of Shane as well which is pretty rare!!!!!

Then it was on to Circular Quay and a Ferry Ride. The amazing thing is that I've been to Sydney so many times over the past 20 odd years and never been on the Ferries. If you haven't done it - I highly recommend it. Loved every moment of it and the photo opportunities from the Ferries throughout our holiday were so memorable.

On holidays.

2010-03-20T16:05:00.004+11:00

Day two in Sydney and what a great time it's been already.

It was an early start Friday - up at 3:00 am. But we managed to have a dream run through to the airport. Good flight and got this great shot from the plane as the sun was coming up.

We took the train from the airport to Circular Quay where we had a fantastic breakfast while enjoying the ambience of the area. I must admit, I really love this part of Sydney.

Another train ride and off to check into our hotel which thankfully was ready early as we were pretty tired.

Resting up a bit we headed out for a bit more adventure. Ending up at Darling Harbour for dinner and a late night stroll just enjoying the company and taking some pictures. I think the highlight of the evening was the fantastic table we got for dinner (see the view from the photo below!!!) and the great meal.

So here are a few more photos from Day One.

So needing a holiday!

2010-03-17T09:32:00.003+11:00

Really looking forward to our break away in Sydney this weekend. It has been such a long time since I’ve had a decent holiday... actually the last time away was my trip to Brisbane to meet the Scrap Pile girls and attend the Scrapbooking Expo. It was a blur of laughter and lots of walks. We had a sensational time but it was short and busy. I’m looking forward to some leisurely walks and a bit of sightseeing this time around and spending some real quality time away with Shane. Heaven knows we both need it right now. The weather looks promising and we’ve have the perfect opportunity to play around with the new camera. Fingers crossed there will be some memorable shots in there. I must admit that the opportunity to take some night shots with a good camera in Sydney, is something I am really looking forward to. But with any luck there might also be some photos of US - even with his eyes open!!!

I guess a big part of me needing this time away is due to my feelings of being so completely unsettled right now. There have been a number events over recent weeks that have challenged my faith in human nature and made me question where it is that I really fit in, both in work and also in the direction I would like my life to take. I am very grateful for the one solid foundation I have in Shane who is absolutely my rock and my soft place in life. That part of my life at least feels so right now which is reassuring. But at those times when his health is compromised, and my rock starts to crumble a little, and I think about where my life would be without him - it makes me realise just how nothing else in my life (aside from my family) actually measures up right now.

As much as I love my work, there have been incidents recently that make me question if I really belong. Although Shane often says it's one of the things he admires about me, my beliefs that;

people will be as genuine with you as you are with them,

good prevails over evil,

common sense will eventually play a large part in the final decision,

and that in the end people will recognise and respect the contribution you make,

seems to be causing me considerable grief recently. Maybe it's an "age" thing. Maybe I have just been naive all these years. I don't know. But it has occurred to me that over the past 5 or 6 years particularly, I have seen more incidents of disappointing human behaviour than ever before. It seems as though people can now just treat you as badly as they feel like, and there just isn't a thing you can do about it. It's like they pick a dumping ground for all the bitter, unhappy things that are happening in their own lives and you have absolutely no defence because their attack is illogical to begin with. And as much as I've always been a "people person" and felt the need to be in the company of others, my experiences over the last 5 or 6 years just make me want to withdraw from it all as I really don't like what I see.

And I guess what makes me feel even worse about the incidents that have particularly involved me personally is that often these have been people I have cared about and become friends with or at the very least respected, who I know have suffered emotionally with some traumas in their lives, and yet I become a dumping ground for their frustration when it suits. I really hate that being close to someone makes you a target for that. And I often wonder why people feel the need to hurt others just so they feel better about themselves. "Here - come down into the gutter with me - misery loves company". Or there is the other side that will just walk right over the top of you as if you don't exist - and all you can do is just shake your head and say WTF?

Finding a place where I feel like I belong, surrounded by people who are creative and interesting, who won't cut your throat because they feel threatened by you and who simply accept you for who you are and treat you with respect, and who will be as genuine with you as you are with them, feels increasingly more like a dream than a reality. And it makes me very sad to think that there will come a day in the not too distant future where I will give up that notion of seeing the good in people and just become cynical like others who have already arrived at the same conclusion..... It's like a little part of yourself dying, that last part of childhood innocence gone, and you know you'll never be able to get it back.

2010-03-10T10:18:00.000+11:00

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It's been a long week

2010-02-28T19:25:00.004+11:00

This past week or so has been such an emotional and physical roller coaster. I barely dragged myself into Friday night and have probably never been so ready for a weekend in a long time.

It of course started with the long wait after Shane's biopsy for the results which thankfully were good results, but it made me ever so aware of how you mentally and physically prepare yourself for the worst even though it's not such a conscious thing. Since receiving those "it's not cancer" words, my body has released itself from the fine knot it had tied itself in and left me feeling like I just spent a week moving house or training for an Olympic marathon. You just don't realise how tense you get.

That said, there are still a number of things we need to do to ensure he stays as healthy as possible and so they are now such a priority!! The thought of not having this man in my life is more than I could bare and I would move heaven and earth to make sure his health and well being stay on a positive keel.

And if that wasn't enough excitement for the week, then there were the employment games - you have a job - you don't have a job...... I think of all the things I could say I actually HATE (and there aren't many things I could really say I hate) liars would probably be my number one pick. And to have someone you once respected both professionally and personally sit there opposite you at a table and look you in the eye and lie - well I have to say, the emotions and disgust that rolled through my head at that moment made me feel physically sick to my stomach. And all just to cover his own ass because he knew he had overstepped the mark and made a decision that wasn't his to make.

I know that Shane constantly reminds me that the world isn't all good and people don't automatically recognise your contribution or your worth, and that you have to stand up and be counted if that's what you really want. I'm glad this time I made the decision that was best for me. I hope it's not one I regret from the stupidity and thoughtlessness of others. We'll see I guess.

In the world of scrapbooking there was some exciting news for me. The layout I did for the Scrap Therapy Cyber Crop won the Sketch Challenge! It was wonderful but I was also pleased because I really do love that layout. It appeals to me a great deal and possibly also because I also love the photo. I did do some scrapping this weekend, although not as much as I had hoped. I got 5 cards (all the same design) finished for a card swap with an Easter theme. Really pleased with these cards and I managed to use up some old paper that I truly thought would never find a project. It was one of the very first patterned papers I ever bought - yes THAT old... But it was perfect for this project.

After a reasonably relaxing weekend that we surely needed, we did take a bit of time out in the sunshine today to fly kites with Lakeisha and Justin who came down for the weekend. Kite flying is such an underrated pastime. I love it - albeit sometimes frustrating when the wind dies (which seems to invariably happen by the time you get yourself and your kite out to the open spaces). But we all had a great time and forgot about the rest of the world for a little while. And of course - there are photos!

Back to the real world tomorrow, although I do think "this" life is the real world and it's that other time spent elsewhere which is the place of surreal existence.

Scrap Therapy Challenges

2010-02-21T18:33:00.004+11:00

Wish there were more hours in a weekend for me but unfortunately I only have time for one of the great challenges at Scrap Therapy.

This was a sketch challenge by Becci and I really enjoyed it. I have had this photo sitting on my desk now for a few weeks just waiting for the inspiration to do something special with it. I LOVE this image of Shane. For a start he has his eyes open!!!!! LOL but that aside it's natural and relaxed looking. It's so difficult to get photos of him with his intense dislike of being in front of the camera. So this one was a rare gem for me and I wanted to do something special with it. I am so pleased with this layout and the hand stitching that took ages to do was well worth the effort in the end.

The journaling around the edge says : "After 4 days of festivities and saying goodbye to your parents, we took down the tinsel on the front gate and fare-welled Christmas 2009. Only 361 days until we do it again!"

And so here is "361 Days".....

A pretty full week ahead and the anticipation of many things. I suspect there will be many sleepless nights leading up to Friday when we get the results back of Shane's biopsy last Tuesday. Wish us luck.....

My Mini Album

2010-02-20T12:30:00.002+11:00

I'm thrilled to have my mini album finished. This was the week 4 & 5 entry for the Lazy Days of Summer competition over at Scrap Pile which runs for another week.

I had so many photos to pick from after Lakeisha & Justin spent a week in Queensland that the theme for the album was easy - narrowing down which photos to use was somewhat more difficult. I wanted it to be bright and cheery and so much of the album is using BasicGrey's Lime Rickey with a few other scraps and bits in addition. Love how this turned out.....

The cover...

The "Hotel" pages.....

The "Movie World" pages....

The "Ripleys" pages....

The "Dream World" pages....

The "Sea World" pages....

And finally - the back cover....

Cybercrop!!!!!

2010-02-19T20:07:00.002+11:00

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2010-02-16T07:36:00.002+11:00

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More contributions

2010-02-13T20:07:00.004+11:00

It's been an interesting week or two with so many things happening. But I've managed to get a little scrapbooking done which always seems to help me chill out!

This was my week 3 contribution to Scrap Pile's comp. I had a vision in my head about how this layout would look but with a different photo in mind, but when I finally made the window - the photo just didn't work for me so I substituted with this one. I had lots of fun with this playing around with the Tim Holtz Crackle Paint and getting a little creative with some acetate and Stickles. I think Stickles glitter glue has become my new favourite product of choice. So much you can do with it and even just a small amount can make such a difference. Actually since I took these photos I have replaced the foam feathered bird for one I created in my graphics program and printed on photo paper as I wasn't happy with the bulk and couldn't cut him down any further without destroying him.

Anyway - here is "Wonder"

As well as another layout I had sitting on my desk for almost a week waiting for the inspiration to finish it.... The photos were taken back in November when the four of us went to a David Strassman gig in Melbourne. We were walking back to the car park when we came across the Gucci Store. Now Lakeisha does like her name brands... and so having to pass by Gucci without even popping in was painful. Given it was late at night you would expect the store to be closed though!

This one is Gucci Girl....

And another one featuring some negative space for another challenge. These photos were taken last September of Lakeisha & Justin in the back of the car devouring a bucket (yes you read it right - not a bag - a bucket) of fairy floss on the way home from the Royal Melbourne Show. I made the butterfly by creating and colouring it in my graphics program, printing off on photo paper and adding some Stickles for a bit of extra zing. I love the colour of this layout and perfect I thought for the subject.

This one is Fairy Floss....

How am I doing Mel???? Keeping up the posts OK? LOL

Keeping up!

2010-01-29T21:22:00.002+11:00

I am severely under threat! And while I know my poor blog has suffered over the past year from lack of attention - I fear now that my neglect will attract even more wrist slaps from my dear friend Mel - so I am endeavouring to maintain some sort of regular input!

I suppose this week I do have a few things to write about. One is buttons. Not the kind you find on your shirt. But those buttons people push. The triggers that send you reeling into another state of mind without you even often realising they've been pushed. I guess it's happened to me a few times over the past couple of weeks and I thought it might make some good food for thought.

I found myself in a familiar situation recently where something I said which wasn't quite right was laughed at and I immediately found myself back in that old life where everything you said or did was wrong and ridiculed. I remembered how de-valued I felt as a result of my opinions and my intelligence being reduced to zero and thrown in my face. Lets just say the memory journey wasn't a particularly pleasant one. Old habits die hard I guess and while I know there was no malice intended in the incident - it was a trigger that had a profound effect. A profound effect that has had some lasting implications.

It's funny, but in the past 3 and a bit years, not only has my life changed so remarkably that I barely remember what came before - but there has been such a change in me and my expectations of where and who I am, it's hard to even comprehend the person I was back then. I suppose there will always be reminders of the bad things in the past and in some ways that's a good thing. It is a benchmark by which you gauge your life and your progress. A level of existence to which you can constantly compare to ensure you are never tempted to fall to such lows again. And above all it's a reminder of how far you've come to be where you are today.

The really good thing is that I feel as though I've come such a long way. I am so grateful for the wonderful man I have in my life and the support and encouragement he shows me in every aspect of my life. I am so lucky to have my wonderful family and that that family support & love is integrated throughout all parts of my life. I am never ceased to be amazed at the lengths Shane goes to in order to help me and make my life easier. I really am such a lucky woman.

And I suppose in some ways I was reassured that some things never change. I got curious about certain aspects of my past I guess - and so I went looking to see if anything had changed. I wasn't disappointed. Nothing had. And the knowledge that I was in such a different place and yet some of my past life was exactly the same way I had left it was certain reassurance that my life has moved on in such a better direction. Not that I needed the reassurance. But sometimes it's nice to get that nod of approval and pat on the back that your hunches deserve, and it just makes everything look so much clearer.

My full time work finished today and so next week I start on half days in job share. I really hope this works well as it's a job I love and am really sad to lose even a part of it. But you make the most of what you have and I do believe the right thing will come along whenever it's supposed to. If nothing else it will give me some additional time to do more Scrapping and that in itself is something worth looking forward to. I have done so little of it for myself over the past 5 months, it is really nice to have the motivation to create again.

Following that thought - here is a card I made for the Scrap Pile Week 2 Summer Competition Challenge.... A round card with a Sun theme. This was meant to be a sunset - but with a card this small it's kind of hard to come up with a way of making it look like a sunset!

The bottom photo really shows up the glittery background of the card.

More scrapping on the way - so stay tuned!

Return of the Moj'

2010-01-26T22:35:00.002+11:00

I must admit that I've actually missed scrapbooking. And although I seem to have done not a lot else for the past couple of months prior to Christmas - it was all gift giving projects and none of it was for me. So now that I've had a short break and started to create again, I can't tell you how nice it feels to be making pages to keep again. I feel as though I have so many photos I want to scrap right now I would need to take the next 6 months off work to get them done.

All in good time....

Today I finished another challenge for the gang at Scrap Pile. This one was an Inspiration Challenge with 4 set colours to work with a shade of Brown, Red, Blue & Cream. This is what I came up with.....

Back to work tomorrow after a nice long 4 day weekend. But it's only for a few days and then the following week my hours will be severely cut as the lady who I've been doing a maternity leave position for comes back part time. On the one hand I will miss the job immensely but on the other hand I am actually looking forward to having a bit more time at home to do things. Not sure how long it will last and there is a part of me that wishes something a bit more permanent would come along - but for now I'm happy to go with the flow and see what life has to offer.

New Year Resolutions...

2010-01-23T20:48:00.002+11:00

I must admit they have never really been my cup of tea. It's usually something you really want to change but have no real drive to do. I've never been a fan of making promises I can't keep.

My head is still spinning from so many things. The fact that Lakeisha has moved away is probably one of those really significant things you have happen in your life. It's really hard to watch your kids grow up and become adults. They are still your children and they always will be. Redefining the relationship you have with them comes with all sorts of challenges and pitfalls. At the end of it all you can hope is that you are their friend and that safe place to be when things get tough out there in the real world. I guess the thing I find most reassuring is that I'm in a much better place in my own life these days to actually be that for her. It's a bit like watching a garden grow. You plant the seeds, provide the nourishment and stand back and wait to see it blossom. Without doubt - she is my rose.

Another significant event was Christmas and what a different Christmas it was. For someone who comes from a small family - it was an overwhelming experience to be surrounded by a large family. Not overwhelming in a bad way at all - I thoroughly enjoyed it. And despite the long hours, hard work and planning, I would do it again in a heartbeat. To see the pleasure it brought to Shane to actually spend Christmas with his own family for the first time in some 30 years was more reward than I ever could have imagined.

And even after all the stress of getting the gifts finished in time - I was rewarded many times over from the looks of appreciation as each recipient looked at their gift for the first time. The highlight for me in that regard was absolutely the moment of recognition of the gift which Denise unwrapped. The look and the reaction was priceless and it truly warmed my heart. I really am blessed - not to have a talent for scrapbooking, but to have the ability to give people some joy in their life - there is no better gift than that.

And so now almost all of January is gone already! I have a mere 3 days left of my job that I have come to love as a full time prospect. From the beginning of February I will be working less hours. But I am actually really looking forward to the opportunity of creating more and spending a little more time tending the home duties and my beloved doggies. Life has seemed to be such a rush this past year. It will be nice to slow down a little and spend a bit more time on the things that are important to me and perhaps at the same time not be so tired and lacking energy.

I actually managed to finish a scrapbooking layout for a competition at Scrap Pile this weekend.

It has been such a long time since I have scrapped anything for myself. So this was a nice project to start with. There are so many photos I want to scrap, a number of them have been printed off and sit here waiting for me to select them. Hopefully I will get some of them done in the coming weeks.

The only sad thing from recent weeks is the news that the house we are living in is going back on the market. It came as a shock and a disappointment all in one. I have really enjoyed this house as it lends itself so well to entertaining. We have already created some wonderful memories within it's walls. So it will be a sad day when we have to say goodbye to it. But I am looking at this with absolute knowledge that it is the next step in the journey and that what lies beyond simply waits for us to embrace it as the first days in the rest of our lives. Yes, this has been a home, but home truly is where the heart is, and so wherever we are, wherever we end up - this too will be our home!

But getting back to the subject of the day - New Year Resolutions... I guess if I had one it would be to be kinder to this blog that has been my friend in so many hours of need to blurt! If I were to make such a resolution - it would be to sign in here a little more often and keep this journal of my ever evolving life...... We'll see!

Christmas 2009

2009-12-26T06:52:00.003+11:00

Well here are some photos to round off 2009. Our Christmas turned out to be one of the best ever for we were surrounded by two things - love and family. Here is an insight to the fun.

Home again

2009-09-29T19:50:00.003+10:00

It's great to have all the bits and pieces home again from the show. Lots of little ribbons and a rosette for Best in Show. I'll try to take some photos of the collection on the weekend. I was really interested to read the comments and judging scores which came back with the entries. I was also particularly amazed at how you can send a man to collect scrapbooking and he manages to come home with food. Must be that hunter gatherer thing.... Yep - he brought home a prize winning Plum Pudding that was destined to be thrown out but was given to him by the lady who cooked it.... I'm sitting here shaking my head with a large smile on my face. Funny kid!

I really enjoyed today - an RDO and the weather was very kind. I managed to get so much done and even took Hogan for a walk which although he was pretty tired by the time we turned back up the driveway - he loved every moment of it. It's amazing how a little bit of sunshine can inspire you. I'd have to say I'm really looking forward to better weather.

I was thrilled to get all my Christmas Invitations finished. Also made a start on my Christmas Cards. I can scarcely believe it's only 12 weeks until Christmas. This year I would really like to be more organised - and in fact I know that I'm going to have to be with the plans we've set in place for the big Family Christmas get together the week before Christmas. Looking forward to it a great deal - but also somewhat terrified about it being all I hope it will be...... time will tell on that one I guess.

A royal view!

2009-09-24T19:56:00.002+10:00

Just for fun - here are the photos I took last weekend at the Royal Melbourne Show!

And a few funnies from the back seat.

..... and that was the Royal Melbourne Show for 2009!

She's back

2009-09-16T19:51:00.002+10:00

In light of the fact that it has been pointed out to me many times how neglected this poor thing is... I thought tonight I would take pity on it and give it a bit of TLC as well as share the news of recent events. Though I'll work backwards - at least that way I'll remember it as I go.

Today's excitement was reading the Royal Melbourne Show Craft results page to find out that I had won several awards for the items I had entered there. To say I was excited was probably a bit of an understatement. I had thought about entering the Royal last year but completely forgot about it until we actually went to the show. So this year I set myself a reminder. Going back over the selection process of what to exhibit was an interesting evening with Shane and I and a myriad of layouts sprawled across the couch and a process of elimination that can only be described as pot luck. Obviously we selected the right ones.

0173	SCRAPBOOKING - PETS.
1	Maree Redmond:

2	Jodi Smith:

3	Heather Gray:

HC	Angela Carruthers:

HCHC

Michelle Jordison:

0175	SCRAPBOOKING - FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
1	Maree Redmond:

2	Sonya King:

3	Maree Redmond:

C	Heather Gray:

C	Moira Vosper:

HC	Emma Blake:

VHC

Claire Chadwick:

VHC

Jodi Smith:

VHC

Maree Redmond:

VHC

Emma Blake:

0176	SCRAPBOOKING - OFF THE PAGE.
1	Maree Redmond:

2	Emma Blake:

3	Sonya King:

C	Robyn Johnson:

HC	Sonya King:

HC	Emma Blake:

VHC

Maree Redmond:

S116	BEST EXHIBIT: SCRAPBOOKING.
	Maree Redmond:

Although I had also entered two double layouts in a class called Scrapbooking Holidays. Those results are nowhere that I can find on the site, and how strange they don't give the exhibit numbers of the winning items. So I guess I'll have to wait until we go to the show this weekend to find out which item actually won!

But how exciting - Best Scrapbooking Exhibit!!! Not a dog in sight - but another Best in Show LOL. Of course I couldn't have done it without my beloved Shane who took the time to deliver said items to the showgrounds and of course who is very often the inspiration, the subject, and/or the photographer for the things I create and without who's support and encouragement I know I would not have the courage or the confidence to put my creations out for such scrutiny. Just as soon as I figure out what won - I'll post some pictures.

Unfortunately I've been a bit under the weather (thank you Doug) with a cold that just seems to keep on keeping on. I'm not usually susceptible to colds, but this one took hold and won't let go. Even as I write this, my best friend is a box of tissues and my nose would probably rival Rudolph! Shane was unwell this week as well and so yesterday and today we found ourselves both feeling miserable and not working. Having run out of pills to try to stop the aches & pains, we went into town to pick up some supplies and on the way home, snapped this photo of a rather strange sight. A duck waddling around a paddock near a fox that had been killed and strung up on the fence. Not sure if the duck was checking it out or laughing at it - but he was keeping a close eye on our car as we stopped to take the picture.....

Last weekend we headed off to Bendigo and I had the pleasure of meeting more of Shane's family - sister Linda and sister-in-law Pam & neice Denise. It's been a year now, and although I had spoken with them on the phone and/or via Facebook, this was the first opportunity I had had to meet with them face to face. I really enjoyed their company and could identify so much with a number of things they have been through both in terms of loss and of disabilities. And it brought home to me just how cruel the past years have been to Shane in keeping him from his family. Not only has he missed a great deal from being segregated from them, but they too have missed out on knowing the incredible man he is. Thankfully that is all part of a past life that exists no more. Something both of us are eternally grateful for. One of the highlights from the weekend though was the weather being about 30 degrees - as late as midnight - and Shane and I made the most of it taking a walk into the city and then sitting out on the balcony of the accommodation watching the nightlife wind down and just enjoying the moment.

I'm really pleased to have the facilities to have my doggies back with me. We now have Hogan, Ashley & Dee Dee living with us. My thanks to Graham for once again coming up with the perfect doggie living arrangement. Given we have a huge garage, this pen Graham built for me is just perfect for the dogs and they are very obviously happy in their new environment (despite the fact that Dee Dee can't help herself and bark during the photo session - thank heaven she's debarked!!!). I'm looking forward to some better weather so we can start going for a few walks, as well as having a pair of clippers to shave off those greys so they don't look QUITE so old - even though Hogan & Ashley are approaching their 10th birthdays. Where the heck does the time go?????

Things have been bubbling along for Lakeisha & Justin. I'm so pleased to see her so happy. It's something both of us have deserved for a long time. I have yet to work on doing something with these photos from Justin's first year Uni Ball and wishing there were a few more photos to work with that actually showed the dress - but here were a couple that took my fancy for one reason or another.

I'm sure the last photo had no bearing on the quality of the night at all......
More updates to follow.....

Moving on

2009-06-13T06:50:00.005+10:00

Vast changes this past month with some interesting yet challenging changes to everyone's lives. It's funny how you get so used to living a certain way and when that changes for whatever reason, it makes you look at your whole life and you suddenly have perspective on so many things.

It's not just me I'm sure. With my dad now in a nursing home, my mother for the first time in some 50 years is alone. I think it's safe to say not even she was prepared for that change, regardless of how much she used to complain. And Lakeisha, now 18 years old, a licence, her own car and a job. And probably one of the most drastic changes to her life being that I moved out. This is the longest we have ever been apart her entire life. And so from child to adult she goes. And with all those changes, a redefinition of our relationship as every mother/daughter relationship goes through I know, but certainly it brings about some interesting emotions and from my perspective, fears.

And for me, a new way of life, a new home, a new beginning. And of all the changes that have occurred this year, this one is the easiest to deal with. For where I am at right now, is where I dreamed long ago as a young woman with high hopes of happiness and love and fulfillment and security. And for the first time in my life, I can honestly say I wouldn't change a thing.

Although I guess that's a stretch because I would change some things relating to health. For months I've been suffering pain in my shoulder that at times has just brought me to tears. I can't begin to express how "over it" I am. My entire life has been affected by it, work, home. The pain so intense most nights I barely sleep. Finally after almost 6 months it's been diagnosed as Frozen Shoulder, not that there is any joy in the diagnosis because there aren't any quick fixes and the slow fix sounds as though its going to be unpleasant at the least. But at this point any fix would be welcome and we'll know how that goes on the 26th.

In the meantime the other thing I would probably change is Shane's health and save him the experience of surgery on Tuesday. Neither of us are looking forward to the event. One can only hope that in the long run the surgery will prevent, and allay the fears of, much worse scenarios in the future. And thankfully I have the week to myself to be there for him and look after him in those first days he'll be home before I start my new job at the Shire.

I've had a few days off this week and welcomed the opportunity to get some scrapping done after a rather dry spell in the crafting area. It hasn't been so much a lack of time and space as a lack of motivation but I've missed it and really enjoyed getting back into it again. I managed to finish the frames I made of the famed wedding. They are now mounted and hanging in the lounge room and if I do say so myself, they look pretty good. I also managed to finish off two layouts - one for Kylie's challenge on Scrap Pile for a Hot Pink & Black coloured layout and the second came about quite unintentionally.

As I was waiting for my appointment with the sports doctor last week to see about my shoulder, I stumbled on a scrapping store in Geelong. I wandered in and made a few small purchases and in the process of speaking to the owner noticed she ran a monthly challenge. It was a bit like the old days of being on the DT. Being provided with product that you have to create a layout with is nothing new for me - however - when I looked at the paper I had to create with - I did have some second thoughts. Hideous doesn't even come close and they weren't even full sheets. Just pieces. But I admire the store owner - how to get rid of the stock I can't sell and still get money for it! This challenge came with a very basic sketch to follow - very specific I might add. Although thankfully I was allowed to add my own stuff to the layout to finish it off. So I bought the kit - $5 - and then went about selecting some cardstock to match as best I could. Actually I was surprised how well the layout came up. The hardest part was figuring out a theme for it that would work with one of the papers that had shoes, hats and handbags on it. I finally figured out a way to go and this is what I ended up with......

From this sketch....

And here are the other creations.....

How cute is this little guy? I spotted him in a box of Red Nose Day products sitting in the staff room at work and figured he was a good buy for $6...

Life's journey continues.....

Done it again....

2009-05-18T11:14:00.001+10:00

The gorgeous Mel assured me that it was because my life was in such a good place right now that I didn't find the need to blog so often. In some ways she is right, a lot of my life is in a very good place, but then a lot of it isn't. It's those things you often can't help or control like aging parents and health of yourself and those around you that often cause the stress you can't remove. It's just life. You find a way to deal with it and keep going. But as always, the fix-it part of me wants to make it all better and of course it's frustrating to know your hands are tied.

I am grateful for a good many things. Grateful for the wonderful man in my life who especially over recent weeks has been so helpful, attentive and particularly sympathetic to my frustrating aches and pains. There are times when I look at the incredible change he has brought to our lives and wonder what the hell I would do without him. And after I've wondered for a very brief moment in time - I pray to hell I'll never have to find out. I'm grateful too for the fact that Lakeisha has at last found the partner she deserves. It's a wonderful thing to see her so happy.

There are some challenging times ahead, and I know that with the support we both have, we'll manage to keep our heads above the water and move on. So many dynamics of our lives are changing, our family, our relationships, our living arrangements. So much change to face at once sometimes seems quite daunting. But regardless of what the future holds, and where we all end up, I know everything will fall into place and be OK.

In an effort to include myself in a little blog competition to win some lovely scrapbooking supplies, I'm posting this link for Birthday Blog Candy

And speaking of scrapbooking - I keep thinking to myself how wonderful it will be when I finally get myself in a space to be able to do more of it. I've come through a bit of space where I didn't have the motivation. Now I feel like I want to get back into it but need a bit of a push somehow. Hopefully it will come soon. I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to creating and getting out a bit more. I'm looking forward to getting out there and living a bit more. Probably one of the things that needs to go is this unbelieveably addictive obsession for Farm Town! What can I say - it's the new YoVille. If it's not designing apartments, it's creating wonderful things on a farm. I'm a frustrated Graphic Artist I've decided. Here is my latest obsession....

So see Mel... I have blogged.... Hopefully it won't be another month!

18 Years Young.

2009-04-19T20:46:00.003+10:00

There have been many moments over the past couple of weeks that I've sat and wondered just where the past 18 years have gone. At times it has seemed as though it's been a very long voyage, but then when I look at Lakeisha, and see the beautiful young woman she has become, I really do have to ask myself where all those years went. It seems like such a short time ago she was just a small child.

As with any parent child relationship, we've had our moments. But I can honestly say that I'm so proud of the person she has grown to be, happy with the improvements she brings to her life, impressed with the choices she makes, and above all just hoping she is happy, healthy is just a nice person to be around. I have no doubt that the wonderful harmony and stability Shane has brought to our lives over the past 7 months has impacted greatly on her life during that time as well. I have noted with much pleasure the immense difference in so many aspects of our lives. I am confident it will continue to set the standard for what is to come.

I really wanted to do something special in marking her 18th Birthday, unfortunately having had several weeks with little work over the past month, it was disappointing to have to abandon the original plan of a big costume party. However, under the circumstances I think I was very pleased with what we came up with. Having a random conversation with our friend Duane in the supermarket one day, I came up with the idea of having a dinner at home for about 12 guests with Duane, who used to work at the restaurant with Lakeisha some time back, as the Surprise Chef.

Many phone calls later, we finally had all the details under control and the plans were set in motion. A surprise party with the friends Lakeisha had lease likely expected to see on her birthday including cousin Nic who she rarely gets to see. Unfortunately we had a couple of casualties along the way with last minute apologies, but it certainly didn't ruin the evening. We were all anticipating the night and least of all Duane didn't disappoint with an absolutely incredible meal.

I have to say the night wouldn't have been anywhere near as special if it weren't for two amazing things. One being the food thanks to Duane, and the second being amazing effort put in by Shane for all the things he did including arranging an amazing cake to just the logistics of getting enough tables, seats, and opening his house up to a bunch of whacky strangers, half of which slept there the night, topping off before the final farewells this morning was a huge batch of the famous Apple & Cinnamon Pancakes.

I have no doubt there a a number of scrapbooking opportunities amongst these. Hopefully time and inspiration will permit as the time goes by, but in the meantime, here are the images from yesterday and last night.....

Another memorable family event!

Once everyone had hit the road, so did Lakeisha and I, off to visit with Paul. Even though we didn't make the trip quite as early as usual, it was great to sit and chat with him. The countdown is on until he is home. Interesting that as I gazed at the one empty chair last night, I couldn't think of anyone I would have preferred to see sitting there. Hang in there my friend. Mere weeks until that roast is in the oven!

She lives....

2009-04-10T12:11:00.003+10:00

Yet again poor blog I have deserted you.... And yes Mel - I feel bad. I'm not sure why - whether it's the fact that life seems to be busy, or whether I haven't needed that kind of therapy I can't be sure. Certainly the need for some theraputic talk has not disappeared from my life, but perhaps it's a time for needing a sounding board, someone to reflect my thoughts back from a different perspective than I'm seeing things at present. And while expressing thoughts and feelings is a good thing and being able to look back at what you've written on a blog helps to understand the process of moving through things - sometimes you need to hear a reaction from someone rather than reading more of your own babble.....

Something I've come to appreciate a great deal over the past 4 or 5 years is that it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking the same without thinking about it. We get up in the morning and we do the same things we did yesterday and never really challenge why we do them. What I've come to appreciate over the past 4 or 5 years is that saying "If you want different, do different." I'm guessing thinking comes under that umbrella of thought as well. Think differently. Process the thinking thoughts in a different way and try to see them from a different angle. Sometimes it can be a challenge.

I suspect it's why some people move ahead in life and why the rest just seem to never achieve their goals, hopes and dreams. But for myself I think it's often why I get disappointed or disillusioned with things sometimes. I tend to think on the practical side, look towards the future and try to do things now that will ultimately (hopefully) work towards making things better but also make the now comfortable as well. But that's just me. Some people, I realise, live in the moment with absolutely no thought about tomorrow. And some are simply so obsessed with the future, that they forget about enjoying today, constantly worrying about tomorrow. I guess that makes me middle of the road and sometimes that's a nice place to be but when it doesn't compliment where others are it can sometimes make moving forward a challenge.

The past month has been fraught with emotion and upheaval. Watching someone I love go through pain, physical and/or emotional, is never a pleasant thing for me. Throw into the mix one of the traits I dislike most in people - greed - and you have the recipe for upsetting me a great deal. And so were the days of packing up most of the items Shane has identified his life with throughout the past 30 years, never to be seen again. And while I don't have any problem at all with dividing assets between parties who have separated, I'm astounded at how some people can stoop to all time petty low levels in an effort to get that one last bitch slap in.

Having earmarked, at a guess, around 70% of what was in the house (and that takes into account all of Shanes musical & computer equipment - so there wasn't a whole bunch of anything else left), the day came to come and collect what had been removed to the garage for transport. I'd have to say at this point that I have been enormously proud of how this man has retained a sense of integrity throughout this entire ordeal and was more than fair in his distribution of what went and what stayed. He certainly didn't keep the best for himself in almost all choices. And yet the rape and pillage of the house, which he generously left open so the participants could use the toilet, was absolutely astounding - including if you will, food from the pantry! 7 months absent from the house and she takes food from his pantry? What the? Not to mention a number of items that were actually mine as well. And then when it's all packed ready to go, she leaves him a note telling him how much she still loves him? Yep... as you would. Sweetheart - I've just ripped everything you've ever known for the past 30 years out of your possession - I love you....
Hell it makes sense to you too right?

With that chapter of life closing, I'm certainly eager to move on to a place where life can revolve around making a better life. Pour me a wine - I'll drink to that!

The creative side of me has been a bit blah with a lack of enthusiasm about a lot of things lately. But in those few moments I did get in the mood to do something, I was pretty pleased with what came out of it. I often wish I had more time, or at least felt like I wasn't taking the time from other things, to go and scrap. I suppose it's like everything else, if I'm meant to I will. But anyway, below are the creations of recent weeks. The first is one of a pair of framed pieces from Shane's son's wedding. This one has the invitation and I have another matching frame in which I'll scrap some additional photos, the buttonhole flower Shane wore at the wedding and the gold rings which came with the invitation. I'm thrilled with how this one turned out so I think the pair of them will look really good together.

And the second piece was a Kaisercraft box I decorated for SIL Lyn's 60th Birthday.

Almost feed time at the zoo....

Coming to terms with....

2009-03-24T18:36:00.003+11:00

Sometimes I think life is about coming to terms with what is thrown at you. You often never know what to expect. How you choose to handle the situations you encounter is the key to whether you win or lose the game. And lets face it - life is really a bit of a game. There are parts of it that you simply can't take seriously. People in it that you can't take seriously. I don't even think it's about winning or losing. It's more about how you play the game and whether at the end of it you can look back and live with yourself.

Looking back, I can live with myself. I'm wondering how a few other people will be doing now and in the future!

and finally....

2009-03-05T21:43:00.003+11:00

The layout I finished for Simonne's challenge on Scrap Pile. Entitled "Paris"...

A little addition

2009-03-05T13:22:00.003+11:00

Just a little addition for the day - A card for "father-in-law" Ern who's birthday is on Sunday. Boy cards are so much more difficult than "girl" cards I've decided.... but I'm happy with this one and hope he too likes it.

Now just to finish off another little project I started yesterday......

Making Change.

2009-03-05T08:32:00.003+11:00

I am so often fascinated by the things we do and more to the point the why we do the things we do. The way in which we deal with the past for one thing. As much as most people live very different lives, it's interesting that we often deal with things in exactly the same way, and often the way we deal with the unsavoury aspects of the past is to block them out and "pretend" they don't exist. Which I suppose just goes to prove that at some point we all stick our heads in the sand and hope things will just go away.

This week has been an interesting experience for me in so far as commencing to deal with some of those demons from the past. With it has come an overwhelming rush of emotional... well I guess baggage seems to be the best word to describe it, as clearly I've been carrying it amongst my worldly possessions somewhere all this time. It reminded me of so many things I had done over the past 2.5 years that now seem so silly to me. Like packing up all of Murray's clothes in garbage bags but leaving them all standing in a row in the room for months before disposing of them. And I must have walked past them hundreds of times in those months but it was like they were invisible back then. And the business we had, the fact that apart from working my ass off to pay the debt that was owed, I did nothing to wind it up and finalise everything, so it just sat there too. Until now.

Finally this week has come sweeping change of how things are. Although the clothing is long gone, there has been still many other things just sitting around that are no longer relevant in my life, and so one by one they are being eliminated from the clutter. It feels good to let them go, it feels good to take proactive steps to take back the control of my life. One of the things I am looking forward to most will be the signing of divorce papers. And throughout the experience I somehow feel energised by it, and I know that with everything that has been happening in our lives over recent months, my energy levels have dropped to great lows. I find that really sad because it's not who I am or what I want to be.

It's funny, I think sometimes when you are fighting with the devil, you can feel the horns growing on yourself and you start to take on some of his/her traits. I guess identifying the fact is step one in ensuring the process doesn't result in a complete transformation, step two is making sure the dehorning process eliminates any trace elements. Making change is important - making LASTING change is imperative.

On Shane's return from India, I realised a great number of things of importance. Some of them I realised while he was away. I never want to lose sight of the incredible awareness I have of the value of this unique relationship we have. There are still a number of old habits we both need to be constantly aware of, but life for both Lakeisha and I has been so enriched by the influence Shane has had in our lives in the past 6 months. In some respects I think that 6 months has passed quickly and in others I feel as though it has already been many years. And as the saying goes - God willing there will be many more.

2009-02-21T20:14:00.003+11:00

Another layout created today. It's nice to be scrapping again. I took this photo of Lakeisha along with a whole bunch of other ones while we were sitting in Nandos of all places - just up the road from where Shane was attending the wedding reception. Hey some people sing, some people read - I take photos when I'm bored.....

Time for other things....

Surviving in the jungle.

2009-02-21T11:22:00.004+11:00

Sometimes life really can be a jungle. All creatures great and small competing for their niche in the woods. Mother nature has a nice way of evening things out in the end though and usually what goes around comes around. The creatures that take more than their fair share usually end up getting their just desserts. At least that's what the optimistic part of me keeps telling me.

A disappointing episode yesterday which counted for nothing more than cutting me out completely from what should have been a pleasant event focused on a third party simply became the straw that broke the camels back. As long as I live, I will never understand (and frankly I hope never TO understand...) what makes some people act in such a petty way towards another person. Over the years I have worked with many people I did not particularly like - but they were there to do a job and so was I and I always endeavoured to put my personal opinion aside and get that job done. I would hope there were not too many occasions that I allowed myself to be anything but professional at those times which called for professionalism. It's a little more than I can say for some others.

In the end I had my day, getting to share a meal with said 3rd party, in a much smaller, more friendly and intimate gathering. A small group from work had a meal, a few drinks and lots of laughs. It was a nice evening and a bit of a change of pace for me.

It's been a tough week & a half with Shane so far away in India. And while we've had many phone and internet conversations in that time, there has been such a sense of a huge part of my life missing. It has also evidently been a journey of self discovery for him, and in so many ways I am now grateful for the decision not to go with him. I don't know about the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" saying, but you truly do get some perspective on the important things in your life when you don't have them around. This is very important. I have always known that, but for one who has been absent of feeling much of anything for many years - it's nice to feel those heart strings tugging and the mere thought of seeing him again Monday night literally brings tears to my eyes now.

I have a new layout which I managed to finish this morning, the first of the photos I've been game to attempt to scrap from his trip. There are some lovely photos and no doubt some wonderful memories he will have to share next week.... I just hope I've done this one justice in my art.

I want to acknowledge the lovely Gabrielle Pollacco who work continues to inspire me with my own scrapbooking. I feel almost guilty copying the torn edges with the contrasting paper behind them, because she does such exquisite work with hers and I am sure I have a lot more practise to do before mine will look anywhere near as beautiful.... Thank you Gabi for continuing to share your talent and your tips with us all. You can see Gabi's incredible work by viewing her blog - proudly listed in my favourite blog sites.

Bed calls

2009-02-16T00:47:00.003+11:00

But just before I go - I'm pretty excited that I actually finished a scrapping layout as well this weekend AND cleaned up my desk. And so from the recent collection of photos comes "Always Watching"....

And then comes bed....

Missing pieces

2009-02-15T11:11:00.003+11:00

You know what they say - you don't know what you've got until it's gone. I'm not sure I would ever underestimate (or take for granted) what I have, but the part that's gone right now is being missed a lot. Sunday morning - no sleep in, no snuggling, no I Love You, oh my god and NO PANCAKES.... LOL I have to tell you - that man makes the BEST pancakes. Yesterday I was missing our Saturday morning stroll, this morning it's the pancakes. I realise now this means not only will I have to miss out on this next weekend as well - but I will have to cook dinner on Thursday night as well..... Life as we know it has ceased to exist for 12 days!

But seriously.... it makes me appreciate all the more the little things that occur day to day and I am counting down the days until he is home with us again.

On the up side I have finally finished my monthly quota for cards due to be mailed - this one will I think be for Shane's mum Nance for her Birthday next week. I hope she'll like it - I think it's one of my all time favourites.

A phone call from Paul brightened up the morning some. Hopefully we'll get up to see him next weekend. I'm so relieved he's doing OK. It's great to see him but nothing will compare to having him back home and sharing a meal with us again. That I am looking forward to.

Hanging out to hear from Shane and all the news of the wedding. A late night text message just perked up the curiosity a little about how things went. But I guess with the first leg of the official stuff out of the way, the adventure begins for him as he "goes tourist". So wishing I was there to share it with him... another time no doubt.

Off to love the house for a while.

and another one....

2009-02-14T21:45:00.002+11:00

Saturday Mornings

2009-02-14T16:08:00.003+11:00

Saturday mornings have taken on a few new traditions, like sitting having coffee and talking, shopping, ambling around town hand in hand taking in the sights and making plans for the future. So today was a little reminder of the one who is missing this week. Still Lakeisha and I did some of those new traditions spending some time in town together. And the other difference for a Saturday morning was that I scrapped and created a new card for another upcoming birthday this month.

Some house loving to do this afternoon.... so I better get into it!